Ore wa anata nashide nigate
by HoneyBear1874
Summary: He refuses to lose anything; that includes her. Yandere!Katsuki/OC. The original reader insert version is on my quotev profile.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Izu-kun?"

"Oh hey!" Izuku said brightly, his attention quickly going back to his phone; he was reading the news. "Did you see that fight this morning? Wasn't it amazing!? Mt. Lady is really coming up in the pros, huh?"

"Yeah, it's pretty cool." Koharu agreed. "Izu-kun, I want to ask you something."

Izuku gave her his full attention. "What is it?"

Koharu paused; she wanted to find the right way to ask. "Why...do you want to be a pro hero so badly? Why do you want to go to Yuuei, even knowing you don't have a Quirk?" she frowned somewhat guiltily; Koharu didn't want to dash her friend's hopes, but he had to know the reality of what he was doing, right? How could he seriously even consider signing up for Yuuei? "Even if they took you in, you could really get hurt."

"I've always wanted to be a hero." Izuku answered quietly; he had a bashful smile on his face, like he felt a bit ashamed to even say such a thing out loud. Not that Koharu could blame him; the whole class just got done having a good laugh at his expense.

" _While I said nothing…"_ she felt a prick of guilt.

"Being a hero, it's my dream. Don't you want to be a one Koharu-chan?"

"Me?" Koharu asked in disbelief. "I could never. My Quirk is pretty useless in combat situations."

"But being able to change the length of your hair means you could use it in an infiltration mission!"

"What?"

Izuku's enthusiasm shone through his face. "You could use it to help disguise yourself!"

"I guess, but it's still pretty limiting." Koharu smiled wryly at his wide grin. "You really do wanna be a hero, huh?"

His face grew a bit red again. "Um, yeah...guess you think it's stupid of me too?"

Koharu frowned sadly at his expression. "Of course not. I just don't want you to get hurt. You're my friend Izu-kun, and if this is really what you want, I'll keep my fingers crossed for you." she felt her own face flush slightly. "I don't care whether you have a Quirk or not. You're-"

Koharu's phone rang loudly, nearly making her jump in surprise; Izuku looked at her pink face curiously.

"Uh, hold on, I gotta take this." Koharu smiled apologetically, inwardly screaming in frustration, and made her way to the girl's bathroom; she passed by Katsuki and his gang standing at the classroom's door.

"Hey Katsu." Koharu waved and gestured to her phone; she was sort of glad for an excuse not to stop and chat.

"Hey Ko" he grunted as she passed; he seemed irked, but that wasn't anything new.

"Okay, calm down." Koharu told herself after she had finished her call, dabbing her face with a wet napkin. After checking her hair for flyaways, Koharu walked back to the classroom with butterflies in her stomach; the swarm of butterflies faded as she stopped short of turning the corner. Koharu could hear Katsuki's voice cutting through the air maliciously.

" _Is he picking on Izuku again? Wasn't what he did enough?"_ she thought angrily; Koharu shook her head in disgust and disbelief at the last comment. Katsuki just told his former friend to jump off the school building.

Koharu glared as he turned the corner with his friends, if she could even call them that. " _He said it like it was nothing!"_

"Hey, what's up with you?" Katsuki asked; he was used to Koharu's scolding after all these years, but for her to give him such a hostile glare was almost unnerving. "The hell's up with that look? You get your period or something?"

"Shut up you jerk!"

Katsuki's cronies stepped back slightly.

"Uh, we...gotta use the bathroom!"

"Yeah, yeah! We'll just…"

Katsuki glared as they practically ran away. " _Cowards, running away like pussies just 'cause they're afraid to get lectured."_ he turned back to Koharu with a glower of his own, expecting a full on talk about "respecting others" and "being nice".

She was crying.

" _The fuck?"_ Katsuki's exceptional anger melted away at her look; Koharu almost looked hurt, as if it was she he had been threatening. "Why the hell are you crying?!"

"How could you?" Koharu asked softly. "How could you be so mean?"

"Hey, that fucking nerd needs to learn now how the world works; it's not my fault he can't get it through his thick head he can't be a hero. Look at it this, way i'm doing him a favor." Katsuki snorted with an audacious grin; it couldn't be more plain he wasn't taking her seriously. "Come on, stop cryin'. We're gonna go to the arcade today, I'll even treat you-"

"Don't do me any favors." Koharu spat out. "I don't want to go anywhere with you, I've had enough of this…..we're done."

Katsuki just stared as she turned away; he felt steam coming from his hands as he speed walked over to her.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

Koharu stopped to face him. "You know, you have all this talent and drive. I used to think you were the best."

Katsuki frowned in confusion, his breakfast flipping around inside his gut; she looked so sad. Koharu was never sad when she was with him. Koharu was his biggest fan, his long time friend, and here she was crying over Deku, telling him to buzz off.

"I always thought that as much of a loud mouth you are, you weren't a bad person." Koharu shook her head at her own foolishness. "God, I thought you were a hero, but Izu-kun's the one who deserves the recognition. _He_ actually cares about other people, _he_ never gives up!" she fought off the ridiculous impulse to smile at the memory of Izuku's ambition, as impossible as it may seem; Koharu could only dream of being that strong. "Quirkless or not, he's better than you'll ever be."

Katsuki was too shocked to yell at her for a moment. " _Where the hell is this coming from? First she cozies up to that shit for brains and now she's defending him?!"_

"He could never be a hero!" Katsuki growled. "He's just Deku, a good for nothing, Quirkless loser! He'll never get into Yuuei, he'll never be a pro hero, and he'll never be better than me!"

Koharu gave a derisive snort and turned her back on him once more. "Keep telling yourself that."

The sleeve of Koharu's uniform smoked slightly as Katsuki grabbed onto her arm.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me Ko." Katsuki said; he was fixedly staring down at his hand encircling her wrist. "Don't tell me….you actually _like_ that-that-?"

Koharu wrung her arm away from him. "Watch it, you're going to burn me!"

"We're not fucking done here!" Katsuki told her, his teeth gritting together as he tried to keep his Quirk in check. "You just stay away from him!"

"What?!" Koharu asked frowning; Katsuki just clenched his fist, imagining smashing them right in Izuku's face. " _How dare he...his head is going to blow up from how big it's getting! Does he really think he can tell me who to hang out with?!"_

It made him so angry. Koharu was looking at him like he was an insect, like he was a villain.

" _Why?"_ Katsuki asked himself as he tried to keep control; it's not like he wanted to hurt her; he just didn't get what her problem was. " _Why do you always have to stick up for Deku? You were supposed to back me up!"_

Koharu wasn't supposed to look at anyone else like that, like she admired them, like they were special.

Like she adored them.

Katsuki growled under his breath; his chest hurt. " _Whatever, it's not like it matters! I just need to lay down the law with her, I've been too lenient about her palling around with that damned nerd."_

"Stay away from Deku." Katsuki ordered; he looked into Koharu's eyes, his own burning in anger and resolution. He needed it now more than ever. "He doesn't deserve you."

" _I don't care about that shit nerd. I meant what I said. I am better than him. I will never, ever give up anything to someone like him! He doesn't deserve her looking at him like that!"_

Katsuki's frame was shaking. "Deku doesn't deserve you." he repeated.

Koharu wanted to run away more than anything in that moment, but Katsuki's stare had her floored. " _Katsu…"_

"But I do!"

Katsuki felt his temper flare up at the tense silence that followed his confession.

"Well? Answer me dammit!"

"Do you even know what you're saying?" Koharu asked him in disbelief; Katsuki was momentarily caught off guard.

"Of course I fucking know, do I look stupid?!" Katsuki retorted impatiently, using bluster to cover up his uncertainty. "I hate it! I hate that you tell me to lay off, like you're in charge of me or something! I hate when you look at him like that, like he shits diamonds or something! It's not right, you're not supposed to look at him like that!"

"Katsu..." Koharu watched somewhat fearfully as he seethed. " _I don't think he even realizes what he's implying...does he?"_ she didn't think he cared about anything other than being a hero and showing off.

"I don't fucking like it and I swear to god Ko, if I catch you looking at him like that again, I'll blow that Quirkless good for nothing to bits until his body is char and ashes!" Katsuki ground out.

"And you have the nerve to call yourself a hero?" Koharu laughed hollowly. "Just stay away from me or I'll report you. Then we'll see how good your chances are of getting into Yuuei!"

Katsuki just stood frozen as she ran away; he was so angry, but he wasn't about to hurt her. No matter how much Koharu lashed out, he couldn't bring himself to retaliate.

" _What does it matter, she already hates me."_ Katsuki glared at the ground; this wasn't part of the plan. She was supposed to look up to him; he was going to go to Yuuei and she would call him her hero.

Koharu was supposed to love him.

Katsuki froze in his tracks. "Shit….."

He was going to kill Izuku.

Katsuki cursed lowly and walked back to his homeroom, but Izuku had already left; he swore the next time he saw him would be his last.

" _You're gonna pay Deku, you pathetic wannabe….you're gonna pay for stealing what's mine."_ Katsuki shot a small explosion into the lockers, arm trembling from having contained himself for so long. He didn't know he had that kind of restraint, but now he couldn't hold it in.

" _I'll make you wish you had jumped off the roof."_


	2. Chapter 2

**Ten Years Ago:**

"Katsu?" Koharu called out as she stumbled down the hill; she could see him hunched over by the stream of water, much too thin to be called a river. Koharu always wondered how fish managed to swim and live there, but she knew they were there.

"You shouldn't play so close to the water!" Koharu called out to him somewhat bossily; they were both just little kids, but she felt Katsuki was too reckless to be unmonitored. "You might fall in and I heard piranhas will eat your face off!"

"Shut up Ko, there's no such thing as piranhas stupid!" Katsuki said; as loud as he was, his voice was still a bit muffled.

"I'm not stupid you jerk!" Koharu stomped her foot in the damp grass.

Katsuki curled up closer in on himself. "Just leave me alone!"

Koharu decided to try bluffing him out and pretended to walk away. "Fine, be that way."

She frowned; Katsuki didn't say a word, just continues to sit there. He wasn't one to let anyone have the last word.

"Katsu, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just buzzoff!" Katsuki ordered. Koharu blinked and slowly made her way down the bank, making sure to keep as quiet as possible; the closer she came, she noticed the charred remains of a long fishing pole lying not too far away. Stopping just short of a few inches from him, Koharu made him turn around.

Katsuki smacked her hand away and angrily scrubbed the tears from his cheeks.

"What happened Katsu?" Koharu looked at him partially in shock; she had never seen him cry. "Did you break your pole? I can help fix it-"

"I said leave me alone!" Katsuki said in disgust. "I don't need help from someone with a stupid Quirk like you!" he turned his back on Koharu defiantly, ignoring the pit in his stomach at her hurt gaze.

"My hair!"

Katsuki turned around and glared at her in confusion; she was suddenly grinning and her hair had grown past her knees. "Katsu, use your sparks to cut my hair! We can use it to make a new string for the pole!"

"Are you crazy?!" Katsuki exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. "What if I burn you or something?!"

Koharu just smiled wider, as if he had said something ridiculous. "Katsu, you can do anything! You're a hero and you can control your power as good as a big kid!"

Katsuki felt himself smirking. "Fine, but don't blame me if your hair gets burnt to a crisp."

Koharu might've taken his apathetic attitude more seriously if he wasn't so careful gathering up bunches of long hair; he even practiced making tiny explosions with his hand before actually using it. Though Katsuki had managed to cut it without hurting Koharu's scalp or neck, it was very dangerous; her whole head could've caught on fire, but to Katsuki's grudging amazement, she never even flinched after each little explosion went off in his palm.

" _She really does believe in me."_ Katsuki watched as Koharu eagerly tied the strands together on one end of the pole; he secured the tackle on the other end. He couldn't help marveling at how strong the dead hair was, and looked on a bit guiltily at the scorched ends of what was left on her head. The feeling only grew as she cheered after he caught his first fish.

"That's the biggest fish I've ever seen!" Koharu looked over the trout with wide eyes; Katsuki frowned as she smiled at him.

"You know…" he began roughly. "It's not better than mine….but your Quirk isn't stupid."

Katsuki tensed slightly as Koharu took his hand; it was still hot from using his power, but that wasn't the only reason the skin began to sweat.

"I know." Koharu grinned cheekily; Katsuki huffed and began dragging her up the slope of the hill.

"Let's go, I'm bored of fishing."

Koharu sighed and shook her head. "Okay Katsu."

" _Why was I thinking of that of all things?"_

They say before a person dies, their whole life flashes before their eyes.

Katsuki called bullshit on that, though he would have to admit, it was somewhat true. Only snippets of his memories went through his head as that sludge villain tried to kill him.

Head hanging slightly as he trudged home, Katsuki swore a string of curses under his breath at what had happened immediately after All Might had rescued him.

Koharu was there, standing beside Izuku, watching in horror at the scene.

Katsuki felt sparks coming from his hands and yanked them out of his pockets. "That stupid Deku...useless, he didn't do anything and she treats him like he's-argh!"

A crowd of people had rushed over to him and commended him for his bravery and Quirk; he could barely hear their voices as his line of sight caught Koharu running over to Izuku with a relieved smile. She nearly tackled him into a hug, admonishing him for stepping in, but it was easy to hear the note of awe in her voice.

Katsuki slammed his front door closed, grateful his mother wasn't home yet to get upset about it, but he knew part of him wouldn't even care if she was. He could feel blood pumping through him, his heart pounding in his ears as he stomped up to his room.

" _She didn't even check to see if I was okay!"_ Katsuki threw his bag down on the floor before throwing himself onto his bed; he stuck his face into his pillow and screamed. After he calmed his harsh breathing, Katsuki slumped down on the sheets and growled lowly; the strain of fighting against that villain's possession made him too weary to pick a physical fight with Izuku and too out of it to chase Koharu down and demand an explanation for why she was fawning over him like he wasn't completely a worthless geek.

" _That shit nerd is dead meat."_ Katsuki buried his face into his pillow; feeling restless, he hopped out of bed and threw open the doors of his closet. He went over to the window quickly and made sure his mother's car wasn't in the driveway before searching the very back of his closet.

Koharu used to play games with him, games the two of them would make up that required using her powers. Until Koharu had turned twelve, she would have Katsuki pretend to be a barber. She would demand crazier and crazier hairstyles and they would both laugh at the results; Katsuki had a blast going wild with the scissors and usually hacked away at will.

Glancing behind him suspiciously, Katsuki pulled out a small box; inside it was some plastic bags. He took out one of the them and couldn't bring himself to contain the broad smirk as he laid back down on the bed.

As useless as he thought Koharu's Quirk was, Katsuki had been mildly impressed at the strength of her hair; as his mother had him clean up the mess they had made from playing barber, he found himself wondering if he could make it into some super strength rope for tying up bad guys with. Maybe Koharu could even be his sidekick or something, though she made it clear to him that she had no real interest in heroics of any kind.

It didn't stop him from continuing to collect Koharu's hair for reasons that he had only begun to understand, and he had long ago stopped caring about the pervertedness of it. It's not like she needed it or anything.

" _I can still smell the shampoo."_

Katsuki brought some clumps to his face and experimentally rubbed it against his cheek. It was pretty soft; he questioned how it could feel like that and yet still be so durable. It tickled his skin and made him smile more fondly at the memory of Koharu's earnestness when he used his Quirk to basically burn off her hair. Where had that high regard gone? When did she start looking at someone else so admiringly? And why, of all people, did it have to be _him_?

" _She didn't even care."_ Katsuki frowned to himself, still picturing the way Koharu had clung to his former friend, relieved tears pricking her eyes. But they weren't for him. " _She didn't even ask if I was okay, she just left."_

Katsuki felt his eyes sting and smashed a fist into his wall; he knew he'd probably regret it later, but at the moment, he just didn't give a shit.

" _I'll show her."_ Katsuki carefully put the hair back into the bag and stuck it back in it's hiding spot. He wouldn't know what to say if his parents ever found it, but he'd be damned if he ever got rid of it. " _I bet Deku won't look so hot when his skin is melted off and his face is smashed in."_

He couldn't do it now; nothing would jeopardize his goal to become a pro hero, but that wasn't to say somewhere down the line that clumsy, defenseless loser couldn't have a horrible accident. Katsuki could get creative if it that's what it took, because the bottom line was he needed Koharu to look up to him again, to gush over him and exclaim and even scold him over his antics. But now her attention wasn't on him anymore and this simply wouldn't do.

Not at all.

It was ironic how Katsuki was completely blind to the fact that his superior arrogance was what had finally succeeded in pushing her away; hurting Izuku was just another reason to cut off ties with him.

" _It's all Deku's fault._ _Ko always liked me better! She said I was the best."_ Katsuki thought bitterly. " _I am. She just needs a reminder, I need to save her from making a big mistake and if it gets rid of that son of a bitch in the process, that's just frickin' great."_

A true hero always wins.


	3. Chapter 3

It had been the two of them for as long as he could remember; but now things weren't the same. The kicker was, Katsuki had only truly began to realize what that meant for him.

He couldn't help wondering how long it had been _that_ way; he reluctantly found himself thinking of before, before Koharu had looked at someone else other than him.

Maybe it had been _that way_ even longer than recently.

 **Eight Years Ago:**

"Katsu?" Koharu stopped making a cat's cradle with her hair; Katsuki trudged over to her and sat down firmly on the other swing. His head was turned away.

"Check it out, I can make my hair grow even longer!" Koharu tried to show him the intricate knots; it didn't occur to her that when she was done, the hair would be an array of untieable knots, but she was more preoccupied with impressing her friend.

"Big deal."

Koharu frowned. "Hey, I'd like to see you make a better one." she pulled out a bit of string from her pocket; she had actually intended to use that for her game before, but then she realized she could do so much more with her hair.

"I will!" Katsuki attempted to snatch the string away; his eyes narrowed as Koharu pulled it out of his reach. "Hey!"

"What happened to your eye?"

Katsuki turned his head away. "Nothing, just give me the string so I can prove I can make a better cradle already."

"Katsu…" Koharu couldn't stop staring; the black eye was an ugly mix of blue and purple and red. There was a recently healing scratch across his eyebrow. She reached out her hand. "What the-does it hurt? When did this-?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Katsuki managed to refrain from smacking her hand away and opted to just jerk back with a glare. "Stop looking at me like that!"

"But-"

"I got into a fight okay?!" Katsuki grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. "This stupid senior started talking shit and then he tried to pick on me. What a dumbass...just cause he's older, there's no way anyone can beat me!"

"You should get it looked at." Koharu insisted. "I can go get my mom, she has a first aid kit."

Before Koharu could get up from the swing and race home, Katsuki had grabbed her arm and she fell onto the ground with a sharp cry.

"That hurt!" Koharu looked at her stinging arm; there was a light burn mark, about what she'd get from lightly touching a stove top.

Katsuki swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't need your mom or your help! I took care of it already by myself."

"Fighting's bad anyway." Koharu stomped her foot on the gravel. "You should've told the teacher or walked away!"

"I'm not some pathetic weakling, I can take care of myself!"

"But what if he had a stronger-?" Koharu stopped right there, but Katsuki was already glaring murderously.

"But what? What if he had a stronger Quirk?!"

Koharu looked down at your feet.

"My Quirk is the strongest!" Katsuki yelled, his palms sparking slightly. "I'm a better fighter than anyone and I'm smarter and my Quirk is better too! You don't know what you're talking about!" Katsuki was nearly yelling in your face at this point. "You're just like that stupid Deku, acting like I need your help. Well guess what, I DON'T!"

"You're the stupid one Katsu! Stupid, stupid, STUPID!"

Katsuki flinched as Koharu threw a handful of grass at his face as if for emphasis; it didn't even get on his shoes, but the action alone was enough to catch him off guard.

She balled up her fists and cried so loudly, Katsuki was sure anyone within a mile could hear.

"You don't understand anything…" Koharu told him. "I know you're strong, I know, okay?! But you're my friend too and it doesn't matter how strong you are, I still-" Koharu sobbed and bit her lip hard to keep more embarrassing noises from escaping. " _Great, now he'll think I'm a big baby..."_

"...you still what...?"

Koharu almost hadn't heard Katsuki over her crying jag; his hands were balled up into his pockets and he was looking to the side. She swallowed to clear her throat.

"Whether you like it or not, I-hic-I still worry about you…." Koharu sniffled and fell back on the swing. "Y-you always get into fights, and I know you're strong, but I don't want to ever see you get hurt...not ever…"

There was a tense silence as Koharu waited for the possible literal explosion. She knew better than everyone how much Katsuki hated his power being questioned, but she couldn't stand it.

"Ko...if I promise to not get into anymore fights, will you promise to stop crying already?" Katsuki asked with narrowed eyes; he made an impatient noise as she just blankly stared. "I mean, if I'm gonna be a pro hero, I can't get my rep ruined from fighting with these chump delinquent wannabes.

"Honestly," Koharu couldn't help smiling a bit through her frustration. "Is that all you ever think about?"

" _No."_ Katsuki thought as he watched Deku walk away to talk out his game plan with Ochako; he sneered and turned away with a huff. " _No way that shit nerd will beat me. I don't care, Quirk or no Quirk, he's still the same useless Deku."_

The second time Koharu cried, it wasn't over him. It was over Deku.

Katsuki grit his teeth. " _I'll_ _ **crush**_ _him."_


	4. Chapter 4

"Izu-kun!" Koharu ran over to where Izuku was sprawled out on the ground; the other pro heroes and he looked over at her as she fell to his side and gave him a quick hug.

"Oh hey Koharu-chan," Izuku smiled sheepishly; he felt a bit embarrassed for having Koharu see him being scolded.

"Are you crazy?!" she clenched a fist and punched him in the shoulder lightly as she gasped for breath. "Why the hell did you do that?!"

Izuku looked down. "I didn't plan it….I just moved. I'm sorry, did I worry you?"

"Duh!" Koharu laughed as she contained her relief. "That thing could've killed you!"

"Exactly." Kamui Woods nodded. "You put yourself and others at risk. You need to think before you act young man."

"I-I apologize." Izuku bowed.

Koharu sighed heavily. "Are you hurt anywhere? Do you need help standing?"

"N-no, I'm fine." Izuku shook his head. "Please, don't trouble yourself!"

"It's no trouble." Koharu smiled; her arm twitched slightly, but she stopped herself before she could touch his shoulder. " _Is it weird that I offered help? And what about the hug? I mean, we're friends, so it's not weird right? Ugh, did he see my arm move? Will he think I have a nervous twitch?!"_

Koharu walked with Izuku for a little bit; he kept thanking her, until she finally ended up bursting into laughter.

"You're such a dork Izu-kun." Koharu giggled, wishing she could bite down on her tongue a second later; Izuku just seemed to be more confused than offended. " _Of course he's used to hearing insults. Dammit."_ Koharu thought in frustration.

"Uh, what's so funny?" Izuku asked.

"Sorry, I don't mean to make fun, but you don't have to thank me so much!" Koharu tried to grin. "You're always so serious."

In truth, she was laughing from joy; he was just too cute sometimes, Koharu never knew somebody so polite and awkward in a way that didn't annoy her.

"I can't help be grateful." Izuku smiled softly to himself. "You've always been so nice Koharu-chan...you're a good person."

"Not really." she mumbled as she glanced down; their hands were nearly touching.

"Isn't this your place?" Izuku asked suddenly; without even realizing, Koharu almost passed her house.

"Oh yeah. I'll see you Monday, try not to get killed before then, okay?" she laughed; Izuku blushed but couldn't help laughing himself. He waved goodbye and gave Koharu another smile that made her stomach flop.

As soon as Koharu closed the door, she put her face in her hands and groaned. "God, why can't I just act like a normal person?"

She didn't mean to to tease him so much; Koharu wanted to tell him how happy she was that he was okay, and how brave and amazing he was for going in to save Katsuki. Of course Izuku would rush in to save even his bully; he couldn't resist helping people.

" _Izuku...he's just that kind of person."_ Koharu sighed softly and giggled; how could she not like him?

Koharu felt herself frowning though at the thought of Katsuki.

"How could he do that?" Koharu asked herself in disgust; not that she wasn't worried for him. But even so, she also felt stupid. Koharu knew what kind of person Katsuki was too, and even though she was friendly to Izuku, she rarely called Katsuki out on his behavior.

He was her first ever friend, almost like the brother she never had; Koharu wanted so badly to believe he was still a good person deep down, no matter what he said or did.

" _But I was wrong….how could he?"_ Koharu worried her lip as she held in bitter tears. " _How could he just tell someone to go kill themselves? And why, cause izuku doesn't have a stupid Quirk? He used to be his best friend….how do I know he won't just turn on me someday? Katsu always thought my Quirk was dumb…he doesn't even respect me."_

"Katsu…" Koharu cried harder, curling in on herself as if she had been punched in the gut. " _Like I have any right to talk. I'm a shitty friend, I should've been helping Izuku a long time ago and told off Katsuki the day he started_ _bullying him."_

More than anything, Koharu wished she could go back. She just wished things were different.

Koharu wished she was as strong as Izuku.

He didn't even have a Quirk, yet he was still so determined, he still risked his own life to save someone else's. It was something she wasn't sure she could ever do; even if Koharu had a combat based power, she didn't know if she'd be able to jump in like Izuku did.

Izuku knew he was weak, he knew he was Quirkless, and he knew he was scared. Koharu saw the look in his eyes as he ran towards the villain, the raw fear he felt as he saw his once childhood friend be suffocated in front of him.

It was one of the reasons Koharu couldn't help-

"Ah, stop!" Koharu felt a swooping sensation in her heart remembering it, as if she was teetering off a high perch. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her nerves.

"I wonder if Katsu's okay…" Koharu threw her bag in the corner of her room and changed out of the school uniform sluggishly. Too much had happened that day and she felt exhausted.

" _If I tried to call him, he'll probably just hang up."_ Koharu grimaced. " _No, he'll yell and curse me out._ _Besides, I'm not going back on this."_ she brushed her teeth and nodded determinedly at her reflection; she spit out the paste and tried to give a bracing smile to rival All Might's. "I'm not going to keep my mouth shut about this anymore and lie to myself about the kind of person Katsu really is. I should've stood up for my real friend a long time ago. I'm doing the right thing."

Koharu laid down and smiled into her pillow. " _I'll be as strong as you are someday Izuku. Maybe then I can fix things with us and then I can get the courage to tell you how I feel."_

The time had come for changes, though how could Koharu have known they weren't the ones she wanted?


	5. Chapter 5

Katsuki ignored Koharu for the rest of the school year.

No yelling, no insults, no cursing, sparks flying, not even a glare.

Nothing. She honestly weren't sure how to feel about it.

"Good morning!" Izuku smiled tiredly as Koharu met him halfway to the school; she smiled back but couldn't help noticing his feet dragging against the ground, almost as if he weighed a ton. He seemed so tired these past months.

"Morning," Koharu grinned. "Wow, what happened to you?"

"Oh, nothing really just…" he yawned. "I've been um, working out, you know, gotta get exercise!"

"Sure thing." Koharu replied uncertainly. "Well, don't go crazy with it okay?"

"Right." Izuku nodded.

"I can't believe it's the last day of middle school." Koharu sighed as the gates came into view. "I hope you get into Yuuei Izu-kun, but…"

Izuku blinked as you slowed down.

"I'm going to, uh, miss being in class with you...I wish-" Kohari was mentally berating herself; she hadn't meant to make things so awkward. She was just going to say something cool and nonchalant or a brief, friendly goodbye, not go on the verge of choking up and stuttering.

Izuku wasn't disturbed though; he was just waiting for her to finish.

"I wish I gotten the nerve to call out Katsu-Bakugou sooner. Maybe we could've done this more"

Izuku frowned. "Did I mess up things between you guys?"

"WHAT?!" Koharu practically shrieked, wanting to cover her hot cheeks. "No, it's not-we weren't-!"

"You guys stopped talking after you stood up for me." Izuku stopped walking completely and stood by the side of the road. The only thing she wanted more than to not look like a fool in front of him, was to make him stop looking so sad.

" _Even now I'm still not helping things."_ Koharu sighed under her breath. " _Why can't I just-?"_

"I didn't mean to get in the way of your friendship. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize you idiot, you didn't do anything!" she winced. " _Yeah, insult him, that'll make him feel better."_

"Look, what I'm trying to say is, I never liked the way he treated you, but I never said anything because I was being stupid." Koharu tried to explain. "I don't know, I kept reminding myself of how he used to be, about the things I always admired about him, and over time, things just kept getting worse and just couldn't take it anymore, I-I couldn't just stand by and let that asshole hurt someone I care about."

Koharu gripped onto her bag handle with trembling hands; maybe now wasn't the best time, but whether or not Izuku made it into Yuuei, chances are she'd never get to see him again after he transferred.

"I was such a coward and all this time, we could've been friends-"

"You are my friend Koharu-chan." Izuku said firmly. "I've never thought you weren't."

Koharu turned away as tears rolled down her face and her nose began to drip. " _I'm so pathetic...I can't even keep it together to apologize…"_

"You didn't cut off ties with Kacchan, but it's not like you never said anything. You just wanted to be friends with both of us, right? I wish things were different too…" Izuku admitted with a half smile. "But I never once thought you were a bad person, so please, don't feel like you can't call me a friend."

"Izuku." Koharu laughed weakly and gave him a watery smile.

"Uh…"

Koharu wiped her face with a handkerchief and stared up at him questioningly. "Huh?"

"Oh, nothing!" Izuku laughed nervously. "It's just, you looked so cute just then, haha."

"What, I don't usually look cute?" Koharu giggled as Izuku nearly dropped his bag as he stumbled out an apology and a reassurance that of course not, not that he meant it in a weird way, but it wasn't that he didn't think she wasn't-

"Izuku, it's okay, I was just teasing." You patted his shoulder and adjusted his bag. "Come on, let's go before we get scolded for being late."

"Let's do our best when school starts again, okay?" Izuku said cheerfully.

"Right."

"I guess I never really expected him to return my feelings." Koharu smiled sadly to herself during class. "But I finally said what I needed to. I can start the new year with a clean slate…"

The day ended and students filed out with eager smiles, already talking about their plans and what schools they'd be transferring to; Koharu looked on as Katsuki rushed out the door. The fact that he didn't say goodbye made her both very relieved….and very sad.

"Are you okay?" Izuku asked on the way home; recently he had been racing out the door after school, and it touched Kohaur that he had waited to walk home with her.

"Oh yeah," she replied as she was shaken from her thoughts. "Why?"

"Can I say something?" Izuku asked bluntly; Koharu nodded. "I think you should make up with Kacchan. I don't hate him you know, and I know he's not a completely bad person...there's things I admire about him. I'm envious honestly."

"Don't be." Koharu scoffed. "You're worth ten of him."

Contrary to what she expected, Izuku didn't look any happier with that statement. "I still think…"

Koharu leaned against the gate. "What?"

"I think Kacchan is more affected by this than you think."

 **During Break**

"You must think you're real hot shit, huh Deku?"

Izuku backed into the wall, wishing he could escape; yet in spite of that, there was another urge bubbling in his chest.

An urge to fight back.

"Kacchan-?"

Katsuki snarled and yanked on Izuku's collar to make him look him in the eye, sincerely hoping Izuku could see just how deep in shit he was.

"Applying to Yuuei without a Quirk...fucking embarrassing and if that's not bad enough…"

"B-but I can still make the cut...and-!"

"SHUT UP DEKU!" Katsuki kicked the wall, missing Izuku's calf by an inch. "If a disgrace like you trying to be a pro wasn't bad enough, you think you're her new best friend or some shit!? She wouldn't look twice at a pathetic, weak-"

Izuku trembled as Katsuki growled and threw him down; he had never known Katsuki to get so angry to the point of not being able to finish an insult.

"I don't…" Izuku was speechless as Katsuki backed away from him, eyes glued to the ground and teeth audibly grinding. "I don't understand."

"Just stay away from her." Katsuki's voice was quieter than Izuku had ever heard it, yet there was a threat in it that made his blood run cold as his once friend walked away.

"I don't know about that. At any rate, at least we'll never have to deal with him again, right?" Koharu smiled wryly.

"You don't miss him at all?" Izuku asked carefully; Koharu walked on for some time silently, as if she wasn't quite sure herself of the answer.

Finally, she shrugged right before reaching her house. "I guess...but it's better this way. He's not the same Katsu anymore…" Koharu tried to give Izuku an encouraging smile. "I hope your dream comes true somehow Izu-kun. Just don't forget me okay?"

Izuku agreed readily, secretly feeling guilty he couldn't tell her the truth, the reason he was even more determined to enroll in Yuuei; maybe someday, but until then, he was happy he was able to really get to know Koharu. For now, it was probably better she was kept in the dark.

About Yuuei and Katsuki.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun wasn't due to rise for another few hours when Koharu's phone rang on her nightstand. She fumbled around blindly and swiped to turn off the alarm.

"Hey."

Koharu's eyes flew open; she had accepted the call.

"What the...hello?" she asked as she brought the phone to her ear.

"What, did you delete my fucking number or something? Tch, or are you too busy talking to that loser to remember my it?"

Koharu remembered that voice. "Ka- what do you want?"

Katsuki pulled back his phone and looked at it for a second in disbelief before glaring at the ceiling of his room. "What's with the bitchy attitude? You used to call me all the time for stupid shit. I got into Yuuei; congratulate me."

"Are you kidding me!?" Koharu listened to make sure her parents didn't hear her outburst. "You haven't said a word to me for nearly a year."

"So, you started it."

"What are you five?" Koharu sat up in bed, voice shaking slightly; she couldn't deal with this right now. It was late and it was the first night in days she could fall asleep without thinking of her unreciprocated crush. "I told you already anyway, I can't stand this anymore. I don't want you calling me."

Koharu waited as silence met her on the other end of the line; despite the quiet, she could barely even hear the low humming of the cicadas or the noises of the cars passing by. All she could hear was barely audible breathing; Koharu waited for him to angrily hang up and disappear from her life for good.

"Shit Ko….don't you even," Katsuki laughed weakly and shook his head. "You were fine with it? Was it that easy for you to cut off ties with me?"

Koharu raised a hand to her mouth.

"All you care about is him...even back then, I knew you didn't like it, that I was teaching that little bastard his place. You didn't say too much, but any idiot could see it."

" _Why isn't he shouting?"_ Koharu's mind was racing; his tone was matter of fact, not blustery or loud. She almost had to press her phone closer to her ear to hear him properly. The cicadas stopped buzzing completely by now.

"I can get that much. But what I don't get-!" Katsuki's voice broke off and Koharu felt tears slowly wet her face.

"Stop it, just stop." Koharu said firmly as she could.

"You don't even miss me."

"You don't get it at all!" Koharu ground out. "I hate the person you became, and why? What was all this bullshit for, cause you're so talented and you have a flashy Quirk!? It doesn't mean anything when you'll betray your own friends for your **stupid** pride!"

Koharu sucked in a breath. "Just leave me alone."

Katsuki let his phone drop from his hand and land on the floor; his palms and neck were drenched in a cold sweat.

" _It's the middle of summer."_ he thought; the cicada's noise made his head throb. " _The fuck am I cold for?"_

He saw Izuku talking to Koharu everyday.

He saw them arrive together at school and sometimes even leaving together. Rumors were circulating that Deku had a girlfriend, but they were squashed down when the ringleader of the gossip walked into class to find a crowd of students surrounding their desk. Or at least what was left of their desk.

The rumors were quickly laid to rest; Katsuki was irritated by excessive drama. No wonder he was the only one qualified to apply for Yuuei, he didn't waste time with bullshit.

But it didn't destroy the fact that every day he firmly ignored both of his now former friends; he didn't give a shit whether Izuku noticed, but he figured at some point Koharu would get tired of the cold shoulder treatment. She'd crack eventually, realize what a chump Deku was, and come crawling back to apologize. He had it all planned out and once again, his plan crumbled with every passing day she spent happily enjoying another person's company.

Katsuki sank into his mattress; his headache was gone, but at the moment he was simply numb. All the feeling went from his limbs and into his chest; he stared blankly at the ceiling, could just make out his room in the dark.

" _She didn't care when that sludge thing almost killed me….she didn't care when I stopped talking to her…she didn't even care that I got accepted...a whole year practically since we've talked and she couldn't care less."_

Katsuki threw off his covers and went over to his closet, tossing aside the old clothes and junk to get his box. He tore it open and took the bag of Koharu's severed locks with him as he dropped back onto his bed.

" _I hate him."_ Katsuki could still remember the way Izuku smiled at her, gratefully, pathetically, but she blushed and smiled back through her tears. " _Did he make her cry? And she still likes him better!?"_

The truth was right in front of him; Katsuki took a few of the newest locks and wrapped them around his hand, feeling their texture, their softness. He'd never cut her hair again. Koharu had made it grow out the last week of school. Was it for Deku?

" _I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!"_ Katsuki breathed harshly as he held the hair strands with clenched fists. " _He's ruining everything!"_

A bug, a speck, a nothing. That's all Izuku Midoriya was.

"I'm nothing like him." Katsuki cursed under his breath lowly. "I'm better than him in every way so why-?"

The hair fell from his hand back into the bag.

"How fucked up is this?" Katsuki asked with a bitter chuckle. None of it mattered; he'd deal with Izuku later and then she'd see.

" _If I smash him up, he won't look so great then, huh?"_ Katsuki grinned viciously to himself. " _Ko will see him for the weakling he is and when she does, this shit will be over and everything will go back to how it should be."_

Koharu laid awake and stared blankly at the ceiling.

" _So he did care."_ she felt the tears well up again but clamped her arms over her face. " _Goddammit…"_


	7. Chapter 7

It would be so much easier if Katsuki really was a villain.

It would be simpler if he was the wrathful, vengeful bad guy in a comic book and Izuku was the righteous super hero who saved Koharu from his diabolical control.

"What a load of crap." she grumbled as she chewed on her lunch; Koharu thought a picnic in the park would cheer her up, something spontaneous and new to get her mind off the guilt.

Koharu put down her chopsticks and sighed ruefully as she leaned back on; it seemed guilt was becoming a more and more frequent feeling for her lately. First it was for turning a blind eye to Izuku's plight and now it was for turning her back on her best friend.

"No, that's not how it is." Koharu thought firmly. "I shouldn't be ashamed for letting go of a toxic friend."

But even that wasn't completely true; as abrasive and obnoxious as Katsuki was, he was never cruel or mean to her. Koharu was probably the one person in the world besides All Might he would (at least grudgingly) admit wasn't a useless idiot. It made her feel special to think in his own way he held her in high regard.

All things considered, Koharu and Izuku had that in common; they both admired someone who turned out to be a let down. The only difference is she somehow managed to avoid getting on Katsuki's bad side.

It was such a waste, that someone so confident, intelligent, talented, and determined was not much more than an arrogant bully.

" _It's not like he was always like that though. Yeah, he could be annoying, but before he got his Quirk, he was never so cruel."_ Koharu reminded herself; it was as if part of her was trying to convince herself that the right decision had been made while the other was conspiring to make her forget it all. The mental tug of war was getting too much; Koharu couldn't even bring herself to talk about it to any of her friends or family. Would they commend her for taking a stand or would they think she was a bad person for for ending a fourteen year old friendship? Koharu didn't even know how to feel about it.

The truth was, Katsuki was no villain, but he was also not the boy she used to play with and talk about the dreams and future to. He wasn't the same Katsu who she shared her food with and laughed and joked and bickered with on a daily basis. He wasn't the friend Koharu could look up to and be proud to be associated with and cheer on.

Koharu pushed aside her food and began to pack up, ready to call it a day. Besides, the park just reminded her of Katsuki and the old days. Koharu smiled wistfully as she looked over at the swing set; when they both were ten, Katsuki had convinced her to sit on his lap and he used his Quirk to launch them both in the air as she swung. Koharu had ended up spraining her wrist as she tried to break her landing and he took notes for her for a month, of course grumbling the whole time about how lucky she was to have the top student in class helping her out.

"It's your fault I got hurt in the first place!" Koharu had argued; Katsuki just sneered and laughed at her pout.

"Hey, I didn't hold a gun to your head Ko." he said carelessly. "You agreed to do it, so don't come crying to me."

"You ass, I can't even hold these stupid chopsticks right and you're not even going to apologize-ouch!" Koharu dropped her chopsticks; the motion of trying to use them sent a spark of pain through her wrist. Katsuki's eyes narrowed as she sighed.

"Geez, don't bitch about it, if you need my help so bad, here-" Katsuki grabbed the utensils and plucked a sausage from Koharu's bento with surprisingly stealth; he held it to her lips. "Eat."

Koharu blinked before trying to suppress a knowing grin with a more subdued smile. " _Wow, so he actually does feel kinda bad."_

Katsuki watched as she chewed thoughtfully; he was actually sharing a boxed lunch with her on his father's request. Koharu was surprised such a mild mannered man had married Katsuki's carbon copy, but he gently insisted his son make amends, as Katsuki had "made the suggestion" and 'son, it won't hurt to wish your friend well after all'. His mother agreed and sent him out the door with a swift kick and a 'get the hell outta here and stop being a dumbass!"

To his credit, Katsuki had made the octopus sausages himself.

"Not bad." Koharu concluded _._

"Not bad?! Those are the best frickin' sausage squids you'll ever eat, so you better savor them dammit!"

"You know they're called octopuses, right?"

"Shut up and eat!" Katsuki turned his head away as he shoved another bite into her mouth.

Koharu still laughed at the memory of his embarrassed flush. But that was a long time ago.

"Why can't he just be like he used to be?"

Her phone rang quietly from her pocket; Koharu sighed and unlocked the text.

It was from Katsuki.

" **Meet me at that old park. It's important."**

"Shit." Koharu looked around, half thinking he was already there, but it was deserted. Truthfully, the playground equipment was a rusted eyesore, but it held a lot of good memories. Still something was off.

The message was so brief and abrupt; he hadn't even taken the time to add a customary swear word. Katsuki never sounded so urgent.

" _What if something really bad happened…?"_ Koharu couldn't help feeling a mix of anxiety and curiosity; if Katsuki was in some sort of trouble…

" **I'm already here."**

All she had to do now was wait.


	8. Chapter 8

**Two Years Ago:**

"Ko-chan, can I tell you something? Oh, and make sure to mix thoroughly."

Katsuki's father handed Koharu a ladle to stir the curry sauce and she nodded obediently. "Sure. And thanks for teaching me; I'm still trying to figure out how you peel the potatoes so quickly." she glanced down at the thin, slightly stinging cut on her finger.

He smiled. "I know this may sound strange, but...thank you for being my son's friend."

Koharu turned her head to look at him curiously; he smiled softly art her and turned off the rice maker.

"The thing is, my wife and I have noticed Katsuki's attitude becoming more and more troublesome; the company he keeps doesn't help, those boys seem more like followers than anything else." he sighed.

"Oh, Katsuki's alright." Koharu's shrugged; she remembered Izuku's distressed face as he endured his classmates mocking when Katsuki pulled out his chair. She frowned. "I mean, it's not like he's a bad person or anything…"

His father nodded and adjusted his glasses with an almost knowing smile.

" _Who am I trying to convince?"_ Koharu wondered as Katsuki's father nodded and set the stove to high temperature; the one time his mother cooked was on New Years, because soba noodles were her only successful dish.

Koharu had them every New Years since she was two years old; new to the neighborhood, her parents had became fast friends with the Bakugou's so the two of them were just sort of thrown together, and from then on, that's how it always was.

"You're a good influence on him though." he replied.

"Me?!"

"Of course!" he laughed in polite disbelief. "You're the only classmate he talks about like an actual person. You know we care for you, so I have to be honest."

As Katsuki's father pulled a grim face, Koharu implored tentatively. "What?"

"Well, as much as I'd love a grandchild someday-"

"My son's a little beast dear, so you might want to rethink marriage. Boy, your hair always looks so damn nice, wish I had it, my hair looks like it went through a shit storm."

Koharu's eyes widened as Katsuki's mother ruffled her newly grown bangs. "Marriage?! No, it's not like that really, Katsu and I-"

"FUCK, DO YOU EVER SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!?"

"DON'T TALK TO ME THAT WAY YOU SHITTY BRAT, I'M YOUR MOTHER! AND WHAT THE HELL DID I SAY ABOUT CURSING IN FRONT OF LADIES?!"  
"LIKE YOU'RE ONE TO FUCKING TALK-!"

"My case in point." Katsuki's father sighed wearily as he set the dishes. "You two, let's try to have a peaceful family dinner? We have a guest-"

"FINE." Katsuki planted himself in front of the table; he looked over at Koharu. "Hey, fucking sit down and eat."

"I TOLD YOU-!"

"... **please** , fucking **eat**." he ground out, nearly setting his wooden spoon on fire.

His mother rolled her eyes and smacked him upside the head. "Better I guess."

"Ow, the fu-!?"

"Katsu, pass me the rice."

"Don't tell me what to do Ko…" he handed over the bowl and his mother clapped; his father just smiled.

" _That feels like forever ago...I wonder if they know about what happened…"_ Koharu rocked back and forth on the swing, the chains making a loud creak with the slightest movement; she could barely hear it.

" _I miss them,"_ Koharu smiled sadly. " _I miss…."_

She sniffled and kicked the grass with her foot to get a bit higher.

"Stop. Let him say whatever he needs to say then be done with it." Koharu let your hair grow out so it would flutter in the wind; she felt oddly graceful and confident, even with strands getting stuck in her mouth occasionally. Katsuki used to scold her about growing it out so frequently sometimes…

 **6 years ago:**

"Are you fucking stupid? Eat the fucking spinach!"

"But it's-it's….EW!" Koharu batted his hand away. She was just a little kid and spinach tasted funny; she didn't care her body was feeling a bit weak, she wasn't eating it.

"My dad says keratin comes from vitamins and they're in spinach, so stop being a whiny baby and eat!" Katsuki repeated for maybe the tenth time, each time more murderously angry than the last.

Koharu frowned. "I don't like carrots either."

"KERATIN YOU DUMB FUCK!"

"I won't eat it if you keep being mean!" she stomped her foot and pushed him away once more.

Katsuki was breathing harshly; he had never wanted to hit a girl so bad before. Hair needed keratin to grow; Koharu had been growing out her hair longer and longer for days so she could be a princess and swing from a tower with it. Now she was looking so pale.

"Please."

Koharu held her hair protectively in her arms. "Katsu?"

"Please eat the spinach." he said hollowly. "If you don't, you won't get better and I'll kill you."

"That doesn't make sense…."

"EAT IT!" Katsuki took a deep breath and held the fork out to Koharu; in his other hand was a container of fresh spinach from the store across the street. At her hesitance, he held it out a bit farther. "...okay Ko?"

Koharu dropped the bunches of hair, took his wrist in her hand, and ate the spinach from his fork; she grimaced as Katsuki firmly handed her the whole container.

"It's still gross."

"Like I give a shit. I don't even care if you get sick, but my mom will kill me for letting you, so don't start thinking I'm some pussy nice guy!"

Koharu was laughing right there in the park and almost fell of the swing; she hadn't thought of that in years. With some effort she calmed herself down and sat upright; Koharu sighed as she played with her hair idly.

" _But you did care Katsu...in your own way, you were nice."_ Koharu let the hair slip through her fingers. " _At least you used to be."_

Koharu wondered why these thoughts were resurfacing; maybe it was from the worrying. She could feel her hands trembling slightly, and she couldn't help her anxiety gnawing at her. Despite Koharu's efforts to keep calm, she just couldn't help being worried.

" _Dammit, his message couldn't have been more vague."_ Koharu huffed; she hated feeling this way. She just wanted it to be done with, to forget and move on. " _But if I really felt that way, why'd I agree to meet him?"_

Koharu sometimes wondered about Katsuki's parents and what they had said. She remembered the old Katsuki, the one she knew. She even thought of what he had said that day in class; she still wasn't sure what he had meant. Koharu couldn't decide whether she took it the wrong way.

Even so, if Katsuki hadn't gotten progressively more ill tempered and arrogant, if he hadn't bullied Izuku and taken her friendship for granted, Koharu couldn't help trying to picture what their relationship could've been like.

" _I don't know…"_ Koharu frowned and dug the tips of her shoes into the flattened grass beneath her feet. " _We've always been together...but being 'together'?"_

In all honesty, Koharu didn't know why she expected this to be easy as saying she was done. Over a decade of friendship wasn't something that could just be erased with a sentence.

" _Especially since I still care about the jackass..."_

The sun was nearly gone over the horizon at this point and nearly half an hour had passed since Koharu got Katsuki's message. Her backside was feeling stiff and she was about to cave in before she saw someone coming toward her down the hill.

"Katsu?" Koharu narrowed her eyes to focus on the fastly approaching figure; it was him and he was racing up the hill.

In just a second, he was standing in front of Koharu panting, fists clenched and shaking at his sides, and glaring down at her coldly.

"K-Katsu-?"

Tears had slipped from the corners of his eyes.

"You knew, didn't you?!"


	9. Chapter 9

Koharu felt your heart drop to your stomach. " _I haven't seen him cry since we were kids..."_

"Say something!" Katsuki demanded hoarsely; she rose from the swing to be at his level. The fact he was looking down at her was oddly irritating, despite how upset he looked.

"What are you talking about? Knew about what?"

"Deku!" Katsuki answered sharply. "His Quirk! You knew the whole time, didn't you? You knew he had that flashy Quirk all these years and you kept it a secret!"

Koharu gaped at him like a fish. "Are you fucking high?"

"Don't play innocent; I always wondered why you ever bothered with him, and now I know why."

Her mouth could hardly form words; Katsuki was telling the truth and the truth was pissing him off. There was no reason for him to make up a story like this.

" _What the hell is going on?"_ Koharu asked herself. " _And why is he upset?"_

"That building...he practically demolished it." Katsuki continued as though he were talking to himself. "He didn't even use his power on me, didn't even throw a real punch, but that bastard still won the match; he made me look like a fool!"

Katsuki slammed his fist into the pole of the swing; the split knuckle oozed blood, but he didn't even flinch. Koharu gasped and tried to take his hand, but he smacked it away stubbornly.

"You're bleeding you idiot, we need to-!"

"DON'T!"

She shrank back as Katsuki sat on the ground in a slump, head hanging as he clenched his fists.

"Look, I didn't know he had a Quirk."

Silence, except for heavy breathing; Koharu wished he'd talk back. " _He said Izuku won something? What does that mean? When did he even get a Quirk?!"_

"Did you guys actually fight?" Koharu asked abruptly; she felt her thoughts racing. Of course part of the training would be combat, but even if Izuku had suddenly developed powers, he still didn't have Katsuki's combat skills. "Did you hurt him?"

Katsuki ignored her, shoulders shaking slightly from scornful laughter.

"What did you do to Izu-kun?!"

"Me?" Katsuki whipped his head up. "God you're a fucking broken record. 'Izu-kun, Izu-kun'!" he mocked. "Heh, guess I can't say I'm surprised...you only ever gave a shit about him, didn't you?"

"I never said that-!"

"You have a crush on that nerd, right? I don't know how it took me so long to see it. But you wanna know something? He's been talking with this four eyed ass and this chick."

Koharu's eyes grew wide for only a split second, but he noticed anyway. Katsuki was always surprisingly perceptive and he knew how to attack someone with both words and fists.

"Yeah, that's right, this floating bitch. He acts even stupider around her; you might as well give up, he forgot all about you."

"I never should have agreed to meet up with you." Koharu spat out. "You're the same asshole, through and through."

"Look who's talking you traitor!" Katsuki shot back; he grit his teeth and glowered down at the grass. A bit of blood from his injury had stained some blades red. "Everything's messed up now cause of him!"

"What did he do?! So what if he has a Quirk now, what's it matter to you?"

"Why? You wanna know what the fuck happened today?! HE BEAT ME, OKAY?!"

Katsuki let out a strangled yell; Koharu looked down at him helplessly.

"All those others...some of them could've beaten me too! And what if we were in a real fight? Would Deku have-? Dammit!" he punched the ground again with the same bleeding knuckle.

Katsuki's whole reality had come crashing down around him.

He wasn't the strongest or the most powerful.

He wasn't the best.

He was weaker and he had lost.

" _Katsu…."_ Koharu felt a stab of pity despite her anger at his hurtful words.

"If I can't be the best, what's the point? If even that bug can win, why should I even bother?" Katsuki said hollowly. "He's taken everything, he even turned you against me!"

"Don't you dare blame him for your mistakes!"

"See! Shit, even now you're defending him!"

Koharu was happy for Izuku; he had finally stood up to Katsuki and by some miracle had bested him with his own efforts.

Yet, she was sad for Katsuki, because she knew his confidence had been chipped at, and to him, it did mean everything.

" _I'm so wishy washy."_ Koharu realized. " _I wanted to support Izuku, but I ended up turning my back on him. I wanted to tell off Katsu, but now I agreed to meet him anyway. I should've known better. I shouldn't even feel bad, he just got what he deserved for stepping all over someone weaker."_

She looked at Katsuki; he looked both pitiful and scary somehow and Koharu briefly wondered if he would lunge at her. He had never physically harmed her, but when he got angry he was almost impossible to reason with and she had no ideas what was running through his mind. Katsuki's comments about Izuku and his crush were enough to tell Koharu how desperate he was to lash out. Normally Katsuki wouldn't even bring up something so petty.

" _Why can't we just go back?"_ Koharu felt her chest ache; she wanted to both reprimand and comfort him, though at this point, either one was bound to get her yelled at. " _Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't we just all be friends again?"_

"I'm done." Katsuki rasped. "I don't care anymore. Screw being a pro if it means he qualifies as a too."

"You and your stupid pride..." Koharu whispered in disbelief. "Are you saying you're just giving up…?"

"I don't give a shit what you say; all I want is to get him back. No matter what I have to do, I'll crush him, in or out of school."

"Real mature. What, do you think beating him up is going to work?!" she laughed shrilly, her hands trembling. "He stood up to you before."

Katsuki's grin was vicious. "Still on his side, huh?"

"This isn't about sides, what you're saying is just wrong and childish." Koharu said angrily. " _No way, if Izuku already stood up to him. If he has that power, then Katsu should know it'd be useless to pull his old shit..."_

"Deku should have never gotten into Yuuei in the first place!"

"You shouldn't have told him to go jump off a fucking roof!" she argued venomously. "You really think it's because of him I didn't want to hang around you anymore? It's because I finally realized just what kind of person you are." Koharu looked away from him in shame. "I realized how stupid I was to let you get away with it. Izu-kun is my friend, and I should've acted like it instead of being a coward…"

Katsuki stared at her almost vacantly, his shoulders slowly untensing and his fists unfurling. "So that's it...you choose him."

Koharu wiped away traces of tears welling up in her eyes; there was just no talking to him. He'd never admit what he did was wrong. Things would never go back to how they were, and even knowing she did the right thing didn't fill the hole in her heart from casting off her closest friend. Either way, Koharu was the loser in this situation.

"I didn't want it to be this way. Why couldn't you just leave Izu-kun alone? Why do you have to be so quick to jump on anyone who doesn't kiss the fucking ground you walk on? Would you have treated me the same way too?" Koharu asked softly. "Would I have just ended up like him eventually? I worried about you too, I don't have a useful Quirk, and you never bullied me, but why not? What the hell is your problem?!"

"You don't get it at all, huh? Nothing's gonna change your mind about that nerd."

Koharu glared down at his averted gaze; he was smirking forcefully.

"That's that then." Katsuki chuckled lowly. "I guess I'll just have to kill him."


	10. Chapter 10

Koharu slowly lowered herself down on her knees to look him in the eye. "You can't be serious…"

Katsuki just scoffed lightly.

"Come on, tell me you're joking!" Koharu begged.

"Do I look like I'm fucking joking?"

The sun was just a sliver over the horizon; she had no idea how long she and Katsuki had been there.

"Why are you doing this?" Koharu's voice was hushed, almost as though she was afraid someone had heard him. "Do you realize what you're saying?"

"Yeah, I fucking do. Go ahead, call the authorities, the police, whatever. I don't give a shit." Katsuki's voice shook from barely restrained bloodlust; the grass under his palms was smoking lightly. "I don't care what I have to do, I'll crush him. I'll beat him so bad, there'll be nothing left for you to cry over!"

"You can't! This is insane, you-you're talking about murder!"

"Whatever you want to call it, I'm gonna wipe that bug off the face of the earth." Katsuki grinned. "Then things will go back to how they should be; Deku never should have forgotten what he is."

"Please, listen to me." Koharu moved forward slightly and glanced around to see if the deserted playground was really absent of witnesses. "You can't just kill him for beating you in one match; what about your dream? Are you telling me it doesn't mean anything to you anymore?!"

"Not now it doesn't. That son of a bitch stole away everything, why shouldn't he die?" Katsuki asked loudly. "I tried to get it through his thick skull, but the fucking nerd was still too dumb to understand. He even corrupted you somehow."

Koharu could only listen dumbly at this point. " _Corrupted? The hell does that even mean?"_

"You always knew your place."

Katsuki was looking down at his injured knuckles; before she would have insisted on cleaning him up and putting ice on it.

"My place?" Koharu voice was more blank than indignant; Katsuki nodded with an almost faraway gaze.

"By my side."

That day, he had meant what she only barely suspected was true.

" _He really does-but how long has this been going on? He said always; how long has he felt this way?"_ Koharu recoiled slightly in shock. " _He was jealous of Izuku this whole time."_

"I'll get rid of him and things can go back to how they were. Why don't you fucking get this?! Why did you have to-?" Katsuki swallowed back a lump in his throat.

"Izuku's my friend. I never was okay with how you treated him!" Koharu insisted. "I wanted to believe in you, I never wanted to hurt your feelings, but you took it too far. You probably just would've ignored me once you got into Yuuei anyhow; I don't have a powerful Quirk, I was just like Izuku, a nobody, a weakling, a-"

"YOU'RE NOT THE SAME!" Katsuki took her by the shoulders, the tips of his fingers clawing into her skin painfully. Koharu cried out sharply and he loosened his hold just the tiniest bit.

"I didn't care, it didn't matter if you were a hero or if you had a shitty Quirk! Don't you fucking get it by now? You were just supposed to stay with me and be there! But instead you give me the cold shoulder for **him**!"

Katsuki hands slide down to her forearms. "It's bad enough he got lucky and beat me this time, but now you're rooting for him; you don't even care. I'll kill him if it means you'll stop thinking of him; I don't give a shit, but Deku's going to get trashed even if it means I end up in prison. Just as long as I can keep him away from you…"

"This isn't right...don't you see, this isn't right-!?"

"No, **you** don't get it! I have to show you what he really is-he's not-dammit, why can't you just forget about that loser?!" Katsuki pounded his fists into the ground, causing dirt to fly up and dirty his uniform.

" _That night he called me. He was excited...he thought I would praise him, like before…"_

"I won't lose to him again. Goddammit, don't tell me you still don't understand. How can you not see it?! How can I get it through your stupid-" Katsuki lowered his head, his eyes shut tight and his cheeks burning in shame. "Dammit Ko, I-I-!"

"Katsu."

His eyelids flew open; Koharu's hands cradled his face gently. One of her thumbs wiped away a stray tear.

Koharu's lips trembled as she made herself look straight at him. " _I'm not like you Katsu, I'm not like Izuku either. I'm not strong or brave or powerful, but this is all I can do to keep something awful from happening."_

She raised her head slightly to close the distance; it was pretty dark out by now, but she could still see the look of paralyzed shock in Katsuki's gaze.

" _I have to do this. I have to make things right; I'm sorry, I really do have to trick you this time Katsu."_

His own mouth was struggling to form words; Koharu would have found it out of place and hilarious in any other situation.

"I love you."

His lips froze against hers; after a second, Koharu found out that the inside of his mouth tasted a bit like spicy udon as shaking hands found their way into her hair; she even felt him letting the strands fall through his fingers.

Koharu was also the first to pull away; Katsuki leaned forward ever so slightly to keep the kiss going as she did so, but caught himself and turned his head to stare at the patch of grass to his right. His hand was still bleeding a bit, so she took it and wrapped some of the cloth from her picnic blanket around it.

"Please Katsu, don't do it. I've always known you could do anything. Don't throw your goals away over a lucky win. I want to be there when you become the number one pro, not going down to a prison cell where you'd rot." Koharu's fingers shook as she pressed the cloth down tightly to stifle the bleeding; tears dropped from her chin onto the fabric. "If you do that, I can't stay by your side anymore."

Katsuki threw his other arm around her and yanked Koharu against his chest.

"Shit….okay, I won't…" he said with a sigh that ruffled her hair; as she pressed herself further into him, he felt his determination flare up. "Just stop cryin' already."

Koharu knew now that his breaking point was her. She did what she had to do to keep both her friends safe and unharmed. The bottom line was he needed her and Koharu's perceived betrayal is what sent him over the edge.

" _I was just trying to do the right thing…"_ Koharu held back a sob, fingers digging into his jacket.

"Hey, you're getting my uniform wet." Katsuki griped, but didn't make a move to release her.

"Katsu, I should get home…"

"You're coming to my place. My parents keep bitching about you not coming over for months."

"Okay." Koharu nodded and both of them stood up; she texted her parents. Despite it being last minute, she knew they would be more than happy that the sudden rift between their child and her best friend was mended.

"Never pull that shit again. And don't think you're off the hook with me." Katsuki wore his usual cocky grin and took Koharu's chin in his hand. "You're gonna need to do more than a little apology if you want my forgiveness."

She pecked his lips quickly and looked down; the melancholy expression she wore was was mistaken for shyness.

"Dammit Ko."

At the soft tone, she looked back up at Katsuki; he was smiling.

Not smirking or snarling or grinning or sneering.

He just smiled down at her, unguardedly happy.

"Trying to be fucking cute. What took you so long to tell me this shit in the first place, huh?"

"I'm sorry…"

Katsuki patted Koharu's head with an almost sheepish glare. "Hey, don't start again. I don't need my mom kicking my ass before dinner."

Koharu found herself smiling as the two of them walked to his home under a starry sky, Katsuki bragging about his time at Yuuei, except he wore an openly expectant expression when waiting for her responses.

"You should try to get along with the others though, pro heroes need to look sociable."

"Yeah, yeah, who gives a shit? As long as I become the strongest, that's all that matters." Katsuki declared. "Besides, I got you don't I?"

Katsuki went on with his grand plans for the future, a plan where he was the top pro hero in the whole world and you were his number one fan. He was brimming with confidence and a renewed sense of purpose.

Koharu found herself smiling; it was almost like old times again.

Isn't that what she wanted?


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Spoilers for the Sports Festival arc.**

"IT'S YOURS!"

Everyone surrounding the stadium seemed to fall silent at Izuku's outburst; his opponent, the students, the teachers, even the rowdy audience. Koharu watched as the boy who Katsuki referred to as 'half and half' gaped in disbelief.

"It's your power alone!" Izuku shouted firmly; as time stood still, smoke began to rise from the boy's left side.

" _Izu-kun what are you doing?"_ Koharu watched the rest of the fight in a daze; she didn't know whether to groan in frustration or stare in awe. " _But isn't that just like him to want to save someone? You haven't changed at all Izu-kun…"_

In truth, Koharu wasn't exactly up to date on anything concerning her friend; he rarely contacted her and vice versa. It was too risky.

" _I'm sorry. I wish I could congratulate you."_ Koharu sighed sadly as Izuku was carried away on a stretcher; this was the first time she had seen his power in action. It was all so much to take in, she could hardly even believe her eyes.

Despite the less than welcome circumstances, Koharu was happy Katsuki invited her to the sports festival. There were so many people with such amazing Quirks, and now Katsuki's final match was coming up.

" _Is Izuku going to be okay? Recovery Girl is on staff, so I guess I shouldn't worry."_ Koharu calmed herself. " _I have to keep myself in check. The next matches will be done and then Katsuki's fight will be coming up; he'll expect me to pay attention."_

Koharu waited patiently and tried to fight the impulse to sneak away to the infirmary; she doubted a nonfamily member or student would be let in anyway…

"Todoroki vs. Bakugou!"

Koharu jumped slightly at the announcer; the match was pretty predictable, though the end made her conflicted for two reasons.

Despite Izuku's encouragement, Todoroki couldn't bring himself to use his fire powers again. It was obvious he would have beaten Katsuki if he had, though he himself didn't seem particularly disappointed.

Then there was Katsuki. Koharu honestly didn't know whether to laugh or be terrified; either way, she knew he wouldn't forget this.

" _Katsu might blow up that medal as soon as he gets home…"_ Koharu sighed heavily; throughout the whole ceremony he struggled against the muzzle and bonds. " _Still, I have to admit...it's weirdly admirable. Katsuki's definitely not one to cut corners, especially when it comes to being the best."_

All Might stuffed the strap of the medal into Katsuki's mouth and the crowd applauded the students; Koharu decided to just head home. No doubt Katsuki wouldn't want to see her after this incident.

"Hello sweetpea, want a ride home?" Katsuki's mother offered.

"Thank you, but you don't have to." Koharu smiled; to her surprise, both his parents shared a glance. "Is everything okay?"

"Koharu-chan, we were kind of hoping you would come over…" Katsuki's father laughed sheepishly; it never ceased to amaze Koharu how such a mild man was father to a ticking time bomb. "Katsuki is bound to be pretty upset when he gets home; we thought we'd make him his favorite dinner to cheer him up."

"Also, we need you there so he won't lose his shit." Katsuki's mother added jovially. "I might end up killing him for such a shameful display if you're not there to neutralize him."

" _She can be so scary…"_ she nodded and pulled out her phone. "My parents will understand, I'll just let them know."

Koharu's parents were more than okay in fact; they thought it simply adorable that she and Katsuki had finally started dating and that such a talented boy with a promising future might be their son-in-law someday.

" _I don't know who to go to about this."_ Koharu helped Katsuki's father chop vegetables for a spicy curry dish; this scene was too normal for the situation she found herself trapped in, but how could they have known? " _Katsuki made it clear….he doesn't care about what anyone will do to him, if I make him think something's up with me or if I'm close to Izuku…"_

"Are you alright?"

"Sorry, onions make my eyes sting." Koharu gave Katsuki's father a half smile and wiped away her tears; he nodded understandingly and gently took the knife from her.

"Please, why don't you go to Katsuki's room and play a videogame or something? You're already being such a big help to us."

"Oh no, it's fine, I feel bad not helping with dinner!" Koharu insisted.

He shook his head. "That's not what I meant. Katsuki's been behaving a bit more-rationally, lately. Me and his mother are positive it's due to your influence." Suddenly, his father looked much older as he smiled sadly. "We've both been worried in our own way about him, but he seems like he's changing, like he's starting to realize life's not all about being the best and winning."

Koharu felt guilt spike through her as she made her way upstairs. " _They're right I guess…"_

Katsuki was almost like how he used to be; he even rarely aimed his anger at her. To Koharu's initial confusion, he sometimes even made awkward, fumbled gestures he seemed to think were romantic.

Koharu sat down on Katsuki's mattress and held herself with crossed arms; she didn't feel comfortable here anymore. She felt slightly on edge all the time, like any minute now the charade would be blown; the vibration from her pocket almost made Koharu shriek.

" _Izuku!"_ she listened to see if anyone was coming to the door and looked back at the text.

" **Hello, how's it going Koharu-chan? I heard you came to the match for Kacchan. Is he still upset?"**

Pretty much everyone who knew Katsuki knew Koharu was his girlfriend; the day he came to class after her confession, he told Izuku, probably expecting a better reaction than Izuku's awkward congratulations and best wishes. This was the first time in months she had heard from him.

With a quick glance to the door, Koharu typed.

" **He'll be okay, you know him. I saw your match too; it was really kind what you said to that boy. You'll make a great hero someday Izu-kun."**

She pressed send quickly and placed her phone on the nightstand away from her; Koharu's head began to hurt slightly, so she laid down and buried her face into the pillows.

"Hey."

Koharu sat up quickly, but Katsuki walked past her and into the bathroom. The door slammed shut and she was left sitting there unsure of how to approach this.

" _I'm guessing he didn't stop to talk to his parents...maybe I should go…"_

There was a crash in the bathroom and Katsuki made an inhuman sound of rage.

"Katsu!" Koharu rushed over and threw the door open. The medal had been thrown against the wall and Katsuki leaned over the sink, hands gripping the base.

"Don't look at me. I fucking lost...again."

"What? But you won-"

"No I didn't! The only reason I did was cause that bastard went easy on me!" Katsuki slammed a fist down on the sink's surface. "This wasn't a win!"

After a second of contemplation, Koharu put your hands on his quivering shoulders; he flinched, but didn't shake her off. "You were still amazing...you fought really hard, and I know you'll only get stronger from here on out." she wrapped her arms carefully around his waist and rested her cheek between his shoulder blades. "I helped your parents make dinner...please don't be mad."

Katsuki sighed in frustration. "Fuck Ko. I'm not mad at you, got it?"

"Then come downstairs with me and let's just eat. You must be hungry, with all the fighting you did today." Koharu tried to take one of his hands and lead him to the door, but he ended up pulling her over to the bed.

"Don't wanna."

Katsuki made Koharu lay next to him; he was still glaring, but one of his hands cupped the back of her head. He pecked her lips and smirked bitterly. "I feel like shit. Help me out here."

Koharu moved a bit closer and kissed the juncture of his neck softly; Katsuki sighed and held her tighter, his grip only slackening when her phone buzzed on the table.

"I can-"

"Here, I got it-" Katsuki paused; his eyes had just happened to lazily flicker over the contact name as he was handing Koharu the phone. She tried to grab it, but he was faster and kept it out of reach; Koharu didn't dare make another move at his look.

"The fuck does he mean by, 'Thanks, hope to see you again soon.'?"

"I-he asked me how you were doing after the match." Koharu explained; Katsuki tossed the phone to the floor and looked at her expectantly. "I just said he did a good job in his fight."

"Did you plan to meet up or something?!" Katsuki asked roughly.

Koharu shook her head. "Katsu, we're just friends, and I barely ever contact him. I'm sure he just meant he'd like to say hi at the next public event."

"I don't give a shit, I don't want you meeting up with him unless I'm there!" Katsuki told her; he smacked a hand into the bed and she jerked in fear.

His glare softened and frowned. "Hey, look Ko, I'm not gonna hurt you...come here." he pulled Koharu back on top of him and lightly bit her neck. She moaned softly and he did it again with a bit more force.

"K-Katsu…"

"Shh, you want my fucking parents to hear?" Katsuki whispered; he laid down on his side and made Koharu face him. "Don't text him. I'll pass on a message for you."

She frowned. "Please don't pick a fight. It's not what you think."

"Fine. But I'm letting him know that he better watch what he says."

"Thank you."

"Whatever, I can't stand you blubbering."

Koharu nuzzled his neck sweetly. "I'm proud of you, you dumbass. Thank you Katsu."

"S-shut up…"

"Let's go, your parents might think we're…" she involuntarily blushed; Katsuki brushed her hair back with a roguish grin.

"I got the next couple of days off. I'm gonna go mountain climbing in the morning. Tell your parents you're coming with."

"You couldn't give me any more warning?" Koharu asked thinly; Katsuki just grinned wider as she made a call. Afterward, his parents said it'd be okay for her to sleep over, but Katsuki's bedroom door had to be left open, or she would have to stay in the guest room. It was too easy and it was disheartening that everyone in her life seemed to think this was meant to be.

"Good thing some of your shit is already here." Katsuki commented. "It'd be a pain in the ass for you to have to go back for stuff."

"I live a few houses down."

Katsuki looked away as Koharu began brushing your teeth. "It'd still take too long."

"...I don't even like mountain climbing."

"We'll take a fucking hike or something. I just need to burn some energy before I kill someone."

Koharu spit out the water. "Don't joke about that."

Katsuki frowned and huffed. "Hurry up I'm tired!"

"Keep it down, your parents are sleeping; honestly, can you be more inconsiderate?" Koharu sighed wearily; some things never changed. She washed her hands then went over to the closet. "Hold on just a sec, you threw my boots in here the last time. This thing's a mess, you should really clean it out someday."

"Wait, I'll get them! Don't go through my fucking-!"

Katsuki felt a bead of sweat drip down his forehead; Koharu was clutching a small bag in her hand.

"Katsu...what is this?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Ten Years Ago:**

As a little girl, and even now, Koharu always got generous compliments about her hair; while the praise thankfully didn't go to her head, she was still quite confident. Koharu knew her hair looked especially healthy due to her Quirk, along with being extremely hard to cut and being able to grow if she concentrated. Koharu was proud of her hair, even if it didn't give her any special power.

"Katsu, watch it, you're cutting way too short!" Koharu complained as Katsuki hacked away at her tresses with special titanium scissors. His grin was absolutely crazed and he seemed to thoroughly enjoy being able to mess something up without getting in trouble.

"You can just grow it right back dummy, so what's it matter?"

"You're still going too fast, what if you cut my ear?!" Koharu said with a little whimper. "Besides, if you do a bad job, you're not getting a tip!"

"You're not paying me at all."

"I'm paying you in crackers, but you won't get any of the cookies my aunt brought me as a tip if you do a bad job!"

"Bitch, bitch, bitch, what a shitty customer."

"You shouldn't swear!" Koharu gasped and looked around. "What if your mommy hears you?"

"I don't give a shit."

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

Katsuki's mom barreled through the front door with groceries. "You brat, how many times do I have to tell you to stop cursing? You're a little boy, and you shouldn't be talking that way in front of your friend!"

"Whatever."

"Dammit, and clean up this mess!"

"Sorry, we''ll do it right now." Koharu hopped down from the chair.

"Oh sweet pea, you don't have to, you can just go home." Katsuki's mother ruffle her chopped up hair and glared at Katsuki. "This will be his punishment for swearing."

"Shit, that's not fair!"

"I'll pile on more shit if you don't shut up and get to it!"

"Here Katsu," Koharu handed him the crackers and headed out his bedroom door. "I'll share my cookies with you tomorrow!"

"You better Ko!"

Katsuki's mother groaned and went down to the kitchen. "What the hell am I gonna do with you? I'll be back up here later and when I do, this place better be clean!"

Katsuki sulked and stuck out his tongue as his mother shut his door firmly.

"Nagging hag…" Katsuki mumbled as he took a small dustpan and a brush; his room was actually very neat, but bunches of Koharu's hair ruined the overall picture.

" _The heck's that smell?"_ Katsuki paused and sniffed the air, but caught nothing. It smelled like flowers. " _Where's-"_ Katsuki smelled it again as he bent over to sweep up the hair.

He put down the dustpan and picked up a few locks with his hand; he ran to his door and listened for his mother before inspecting the hair.

" _It looks shiny."_ Katsuki frowned. " _It smells nice too."_

He glanced at his door one more time before pressing the hair to his cheek. " _And it's soft…"_

Katsuki looked down at the rest of the hair. " _Ko's hair is pretty strong...maybe I should keep it to make something out of it."_

He emptied the baggy Koharu put away the crackers in and carefully placed the hair inside; with one more paranoid look at his door, Katuski stowed it away in the very back of his closet.

He would continue the routine until years later, and had never meant for it to ever be found out.

"Katsu, what is this?!"

Koharu held at least a dozen of the bags in her hands; she looked horrified.

Katsuki stood up and took the bags from her limp hands. "I'll get rid of them, okay? Stop being so fucking loud, you'll wake everyone up."

"This is my fucking hair!" Koharu said in mortification. "H-have you just been saving it all this time?"

"I said, I'll get rid of them okay?" Katsuki's hand smoked and began to send one of the bags aflame. "Look, don't freak out about this-"

"Don't freak out?" Koharu said lowly. "You-this is sick!"

Katsuki grabbed all the bags and threw them in his trash bin; he blew up everything in one move.

"Katsuki?!" His father rushed into the room. "What's going on?"

"There was a big spider in the trash, and she asked me to take care of it." Katsuki shrugged.

"Oookay…...well, try to just use the swatter next time?" Katsuki's father smiled awkwardly and left to wonder why his son thought every problem could be solved with an explosion. Koharu wished she could scream for him to come back, but she wasn't sure what Katsuki would do.

"See, I won't do it again, alright Ko?" Katsuki told her calmly. "Come back to bed, we gotta get up early."

"I'm sleeping in the guest room." Koharu tried to go past him, but Katsuki grabbed her shoulder and practically carried her to his bed.

"Dammit, I said I wouldn't do it again!" Katsuki hissed as he held you down. Koharu stared up at him, fearfully. "Stop flipping out about this, it's not a big deal."

Koharu shivered and tried to ring her wrists from his grasp; she wasn't strong enough to even budge him. Katsuki looked down at Koharu passively until she calmed down.

"I thought you loved me. I'm sorry, okay dammit? It won't fucking happen again, so just…"

Her protest was muffled as Katsuki bruised his face into her hair.

"I never thought your Quirk was dumb you know." Katsuki gently took ahold of some of Koharu's hair and inhaled. "I like your hair...it's strong and it's-it smells good…" he growled and huffed in embarrassment. "I have you now though, so there's no point in keeping that shit, so don't-"

"Don't what?" Koharu asked bitterly; internally she was panicking and her heart was ready to jump from her ribs. " _How'd I get into this mess? How long has he been this unhinged? God, I don't know what to do! I have to get out of here, I have to-!"_

"Ko...you have to be by my side. That's where you belong."

Katsuki hugged her so tightly, Koharu worried she might suffocate for a moment. "This is where I belong. I love you too, so don't fuck with that."

Before Koharu could make a sound, she choked out a sob; hot tears fell from her eyes and into her hair and she tried to turn away, but Katsuki wasn't having it. He cupped Koharu's face to make her meet his gaze; his palm still smelled faintly of soot and his sweat.

"Hey. Don't look away when I'm trying to kiss you."

"K-Katsu, you-"

"Shut up for a minute."

Most kisses Koharu beared with a cold resolution; it didn't feel right to even be held by him, but she got through it by thinking of how kind Katsuki's parents were and how she gave them a reprieve from their son's antics, how she was keeping Izuku safe from harm, and how Katsuki wasn't usually too affectionate anyway, so it'd be over soon and she can try to just forget about it until next time.

But at that moment, Koharu couldn't think of anything except her breath being stolen away.

"No more crying. Just go the fuck to sleep and we can talk more in the morning." Katsuki ordered quietly as he made Koharu lay sideways and pulled her back to his front; she blinked feeling his fingers run through her hair soothingly. "Just be okay again or I'll feel like shit."

One of his arms wrapped around Koharu's waist; she found herself holding that hand to her chest and giving the knuckle a kiss.

"Goodnight Katsu."

He let out a breath. "Night Ko."


	13. Chapter 13

"Hey, hurry it up!" Katsuki called over his shoulder; Koharu really wasn't even that far behind him. He scoffed as she huffed and puffed, waiting for her with crossed arms.

"My grandma moves faster."

"Shut the fuck up Katsu, you know I'm not used to this kind of crap!" Koharu retorted; when the two of them first started dating, she felt a bit nervous talking back to him. She thought he'd expect her to be more passive and subdued as his girlfriend; on the contrary, Katsuki was under the impression Koharu was sick and angrily lectured her on how only dumb people get colds, and he knew she wasn't stupid, so she had better suck it up and take some meds or else.

" _I guess in his own way it was nice…"_ Koharu narrowed her eyes as Katsuki tapped his foot repeatedly on the ground, his heavy boot kicking up some of the loose, dry dirt; it was as if the location was a desert, not a forest trail. "You just had to pick a day when it's sweltering outside, didn't you?"

"The hell are you talking about? This weather's fine, you're just too busy bitching and not doing enough hiking."

"We've been walking for hours!" Koharu said as she finally reached him; she bent over a bit and groaned in frustration, the straps of the backpack digging into her shoulders. She could've sworn it was lighter when they first started the journey.

"It's only been five, stop being such a whiny baby!" Katsuki barked as he turned around and continued marching up the makeshift path; Koharu was a bit relieved they were going someplace other campers had gone before. She wouldn't put it past him to just go wherever he felt and get both of them lost in the process.

"It took two hours to get to to the park location and one for the bus ride here." Koharu reminded him. "You know, for a guy with top grades, you suck at math."

"Dammit, will you shut up Ko?! You're not even my wife yet and you're nagging me to fucking death!" Katsuki stomped over to Koharu and swiped the bag from her shoulders. "If you can't handle the bags, tell me so we don't waste time yapping when we could already be at the damned campsite!"

Koharu stood there very still as he easily carried both the bags of supplies on his back; he was barely breaking a sweat and she was practically a mess. It was embarrassing, but-

"Move it, we don't got all day!" Katsuki called over his shoulder; Koharu shook her red face and trotted after him. "Christ, what's with you? I couldn't get you to shut up and now you've got a mime routine going?" he frowned and looked straight away. "We're supposed to be on a date, so act like it instead of spacing out."

"Thanks for carrying my bag." Koharu held onto the hem of his shirt as she walked a bit behind him.

"I can do it no problem." Katsuki determinedly stared forward and straightened his shoulders and back.

"Are we there yet?"

"Stop asking!"

"I asked you like twice now!"

Katsuki rolled his eyes and glanced at her hand. "We're gonna be there soon, just be patient."

" _Is he really trying to tell me about keeping calm?"_ Koharu sighed softly and felt grateful for the slight breeze that seemed to get a bit stronger the higher up they walked. "Katsu, I get why we need sleeping bags and supplies to make a fire and the first aid kit and the tent and the mosquito net and all that, but why did you make me pack extra clothes?"

Not long before it was time for them to take off, Katsuki had stuffed a few sweaters and thick socks into Koharu's bag; he completely messed up her organized belongings, but he was already hustling her out the door, leaving little time for arguments.

"Don't you know anything? When it's nighttime the temperature is going to drop drastically; it's not enough to just have a fire. We need to rest and we can't keep it going all night, not to mention how dangerous it would be if one of us accidentally fell asleep while watching the fire pit." Katsuki explained; Koharu held on a bit tighter to his shirt to try and keep up with him. "It won't get cold enough for us to get frostbite or anything, but we could get seriously sick. At any rate, it's better to be safe and take this extra gear with us. Get it?"

"Yeah."

Katsuki shot her an irritated look. "What now?"

"Huh?" Koharu looked legitimately confused.

"You're giving me a weird ass look."

"Oh…sorry, I didn't know." Koharu shrugged. "I just thought it was cool how you knew all that stuff."

"Heh, well it's pretty simple, anyone with common sense would know." Katsuki said smugly. "Alright, we're here."

"There's just a bunch of trees…"

Katsuki uncurled his hand from the strap of the bag and grabbed her hand off his shirt. "Follow me."

"Katsu." Koharu sighed heavily. "I'm tired are you really sure-"

But lo and behold, just behind the thicket of trees and brush was a clearing.

"Told ya." Katsuki smirked and began unpacking as Koharu gave him a dull look; he unloaded a one man sized tent and started setting it up. "In your bag there's the sleeping bags, let's put them inside the tent as soon as I get it set up. If it rains out of nowhere, we don't want them soaked. After you're done-"

"Geez, can you actually ask me to do something instead of tell me?"

"Who's the one who does this regularly?" Katsuki told Koharu angrily. "Just do what I say and stop complaining. All you've done since we started this trip is complain and it's getting on my nerves!"

"Oh really?" Koharu asked with a snort. "I'm surprised you even bothered to listen! All I ever do is go along with what you want; you didn't even ask me to come out here, you told me to!"

"Why wouldn't you want to come with me?" Katsuki argued and nearly snapped one of the tent's poles in half. "I think it's pretty fucking considerate of me to even invite you and all you do is bitch and nag and-"

" **I DIDN'T WANT THIS!"**

Her scream startled a few birds resting in the branches above their heads; Koharu kicked one of the bags and cursed roughly as she felt her foot sting from the impact. After letting out another growl of frustration Koharu sat down right there in the dirt, breathing in and out deeply.

"It's all about what you want…"

Katsuki's eyes narrowed. "Fine. If you really didn't want to come here so badly, then don't next time."

Koharu just shook her head. " _He doesn't get it at all. The only reason we're together now is because if he doesn't get what he wants…"_

"Yeah, shut me out, that's gonna make shit better." Katsuki grumbled as he finished setting up the tent; her glare softened as confusion took over.

"That's your tent?"

"Yeah, so?"

"It's yours."

"Yeah it fucking is!" Katsuki's ground out. "What the fuck of it?!"

"Where the heck am I sleeping then?" Koharu asked tiredly.

Katsuki sneered and threw his sleeping bag into the tent. "You didn't want me telling you to do shit, so sleep wherever the hell you want." he tossed Koharu a bag of crackers and some dried meat. "Here, I'm taking a nap."

The snacks landed a foot in front of her just as Katsuki disappeared in the tent and zipped it closed. Koharu looked around; not too far away she could hear water running.

" _He mentioned a stream earlier."_ Koharu thought as she caught sight of a pot's handle sticking out of a bag; she pulled it out and made her way down the other side of the site. The stream actually reminded Koharu of the one she and Katsuki used to fish at. She filled up the pot with water and laid it down on her right side; the water was flowing smoothly and Koharu's reflection was only a bit distorted.

" _How long can I even keep this up? I-"_ Koharu felt her lips shake rapidly as she tried to keep in a sob; she tried to steady her breathing as she curled in on herself right there on the bank of the stream.

By the time Koharu was done crying, the sun was nearly gone; she didn't want to go back yet though. She wanted to stay there for as long as possible to soak in the stillness of the landscape; it almost felt as though Koharu had escaped and as she gazed at her reflection, her face seemed to shine like it was new. It had been a while since Koharu just let herself go.

"There you are!"

Koharu sighed as she heard the sound of Katsuki barreling down the slope; her moment of peace was officially over. " _Now what?"_

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Katsuki called out as he practically slide down the grass and nearly fell; Koharu's eyes widened as he caught himself last minute, frantic eyes trained on her the whole time. "How fucking stupid can you be to wander off in the fucking woods alone?! Shit!" Katsuki took her arms and stared. "You're freezing cold! Goddammit…"

"I knew my way back." Koharu tore her arms away and stood up, walking by him without eye contact; a half moon had risen, so there was just enough light for her to see herr way and see the illuminated tent.

"You don't know what's out here." Katsuki said shortly as he nearly made the small fire pit explode along with the dry leaves and wood Katsuki had placed inside. "What if a wild animal attacked you, huh? Get your sleeping bag and get one of those sweater out-"

"Stop ordering me around."

"Who's the one who's actually been camping?! Who's the one with experience and who knows what the fuck they're doing?" Katsuki cut Koharu off and threw the bag next to her with a loud thump. "You're still shaking. Get close to the fucking fire and put on a goddamn sweater or I'll warm you up by shooting a little explosion in your face!"

Koharu looked away stubbornly but did as he said; it was bad enough being stuck with him, but she couldn't ever seem to get a moment's peace from him half the time. Katsuki plopped down across from her; he was staring into the fire fixedly.

"Don't ever do that again." his firm voice was easy to hear over the crackling of the fire. "I know this place better than you, so I don't need you to do anything. Just stay inside the tent or stay near the camp site."

Koharu looked up at him suddenly. "Is that tent for both of us?"

"Are you listening?!" Katsuki clicked his tongue and stoked the fire. "Yeah, we're sharing. I'm not fucking sleeping out here."

Her face was already feeling a bit hot from the flames being so close and radiating heat; she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take.

"Come over here?"

Koharu automatically moved; perhaps it was from the shock of him asking her. Katsuki made her lie down on the sleeping bag and laid down right next to her.

"Katsu, h-hold on-!"

"Look up."

Koharu blinked and faced forward; the tree tops were illuminated by the moonlight, and the rest of the sky glowed with stars.

"Wow…"

Katsuki continued to stare forward, not really seeing the sky. "Still hate it? Being here with me?" he put his arms behind his head. "Why is it that ever since we got together you cry so much anyway?"

"Katsu…" Koharu turned to look at him directly with a little frown.

"If you just left it all to me, this trip would've started out perfectly. I get this isn't really your thing, but I've been wanting to do this; maybe it was pretty last minute, but I really needed to get the fuck outta there. Just let me take care of everything." Katsuki said.

"Alright…" Koharu nodded slowly. "It's nice out here."

"Good."

"How come you've never taken me out on a hiking trip before anyway?" Koharu asked inquisitively. "Now that I think about it, after all these years, not once have you even suggested it."

Katsuki stiffened under her arm. "We're alone."

"So?"

"How thick can you-? Son of a bitch!" Katsuki rolled away from her. "My parents aren't here. It's just the two of us and if we had done this earlier, it would've been too weird. I don't know what I would've done…"

Koharu turned on her side and stared at his back; his shirt collar was stained from sweat running down his neck. "Katsu, have you felt this way for a long time?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It doesn't matter." Katsuki buried his face into his arm.

Koharu looked up as the smoke trailed into the pitch black sky and the ember flew up along with them; the fire was nearly gone.

"Let's go to bed Katsu."

"W-WHAT!?"

"You're going to get us killed by scaring all the dangerous animals with your yelling!" Koharu smacked the back of his head lightly. "Let's go to bed, I'm tired and the fire's dead."

"I fucking knew that!" Katsuki whispered roughly as he followed her into the snug tent; there wasn't enough room to spread out, Koharu practically had to lay with her body halfway on his.

"Night Ko." Katsuki said shortly as she pressed her ear into his chest; she could hear the quick bumping of his heart.

"Let's do this again sometime." Koharu whispered; she felt Katsuki nod as his chin brushed against the top of her head.

"We will." Katsuki promised as he made Koharu press her face into the hollow of his neck. "It'll be our place."


	14. Chapter 14

"Chocolate?!" Izuku held the baggie of treats in his hands with an almost childlike wonder.

"Yep! Happy Valentine's Day; I hope they came out alright." Ochako flushed and rubbed the back of her head nervously. "Oh, Iida, here's yours!"

Iida smiled pleasantly. "Thank you very much Uraraka-san, they look very even."

"Even?" Ochako cocked her head to the side like a lost puppy.

"Yes. Each chocolate seems to have an equal measure of nuts and icing. Well done." Iida congratulated her.

"Oh, thanks." Ochako turned to Izuku expectantly. "Do yours look okay?"

"Yes, t-they look really nice!" Izuku could barely contain his joy; he was sort of hoping for more than just giri chocolates, but to get any candy from a girl was something to be happy about.

"Good, it was hard to make them when I have to keep one of my fingers off the spoons and bowls…" Ochako chuckled sheepishly.

Izuku beamed down at her. "I'm sure they'll taste delicious. Thank you Uraraka-san!"

" _Tch, bet that loser was hoping for honmei chocolates. Sucks to be him!"_ Katsuki grinned and leaned back in his chair with a low chuckle.

"Bakugou, what's with that creepy look on your face?" Kirishima asked none too quietly; half of the class turned around to sneak a peek at whatever evil expression their rowdiest classmate was bound to have this time.

"Fuck off, can't you see I'm busy?"

"Busy being creepy?" Kirishima asked innocently; he peered over at the package in Katsuki's lap. "What's with that box? It's not very manly."

Katsuki rolled his eyes. "Says the jackass who didn't get chocolate."

"You-?!"

"Got chocolate?!"

Katsuki didn't know who to glare at. More than half the class was staring at him openly and had exclaimed in shock; even Aizawa raised an eyebrow before going back to sleep in his bag as Kirishima made an attempt to snatch the small box out of Katsuki's hand.

"No way! Who the hell gave you-seriously?!"

"Bakugou has a girlfriend." Tsuyu commented dully. "I must admit, even knowing that, I can't help but be shocked."

"Yeah, what's up with that anyway?" Kaminari asked with a frown. "I mean, if even Bakugou can get a girlfriend-"

Hagakure nearly fell out of her seat from a giggle fit. "Oh wow, are you jealous Kaminari?"

"No!" he replied defensively. "Some girls just have bad tastes…"

Aoyama nodded. "He doesn't even sparkle."

" _I still can't believe Kacchan is the one getting picked on now...but at least it's not exactly malicious."_ Izuku silently watched as Katsuki fumed.

Ochako tugged on Izuku's sleeve to whisper in his ear. "Hey Deku, so Bakugou really does have a girlfriend?"

"O-oh yeah!" Izuku answered, trying to ignore how close she was. "Um, she's a friend of mine from middle school."

"Does she also have, uh, the same volatile temperament as Bakugou-san?" Iida asked uncertainly; Katsuki had raised a smoking fist to Kirishima's grinning face.

"No, not at all." Izuku laughed. "She's really nice; her and Kacchan were friends when they were super little, even before I met him in school."

" _Childhood friend romance?!"_ Ochako gaped at Katuski in disbelief. " _That's so-so...romantic!?"_

"They've always been together….they had a fight after graduation, but I guess they patched thing sup." Izuku smiled. "Maybe Koharu-chan's the reason Kacchan's cooled down a bit."

Iida looked skeptical. "Right…"

"HEY, HANDS OFF!" Katsuki sent a small explosion by Kaminari's hand. "Why don't you guys go-!?"

"Huh, didn't she come to the sports festival?" Kirishima recalled. "I think that was her...she was cute."

"If you don't shut your damned mouth right now, I'll rip it off!"

"Hey, let's see them!" Hakagure cheered. "Open the box!"

"I hear you're suppose to make chocolates in line with the receiver's personality. Bakugou's chocolates must be burned and bitter." Tsuyu concluded.

"Oh yeah? Fine, I'll let you assholes have a look." Katsuki wore an audacious grin as he carefully opened the box; even Todoroki and Tokoyami turned slightly in their seats.

"They look so pretty!"

"How'd Bakugou get a girl who could bake like this?!" Kaminari smacked a hand to his face.

Katsuki just grinned wider. "And she used a hand beater so it'd be just the right consistency."

"Nice Bakugou!" Kirishima slapped him on the shoulder, early sending him face first to the floor. "What are you going to do for White Day?"

"The fuck's that?"

Kirishima's smile faltered. "Come on, you know. White Day, on March 14th? It's when you give a gift to a girl if you accept her Valentine's chocolates?"

"Are you just making shit up?"

"You really haven't heard of it?" Jirou asked with a blank expression. "Have you been living under a rock or something?"

"Oh and don't forget the triple return rule!" Ashido reminded. "Whatever gift you got from her has to be three times the value of her gift."

And it's traditionally something white, like white chocolate or even white clothes!"

" _Uraraka-san, you too?!"_ Izuku thought incredulously.

Katsuki was suddenly surrounded by his female classmates who felt it was their duty to give him their two cents.

"Jewelry is nice, but kind of tacky and impersonal."

"What do you think of him making her chocolate too?" Tsuyu asked Yaoyozoru.

"Perhaps, if he can even cook." she answered thoughtfully. "You really can't go wrong with something sentimental, but I suppose it depends."

"WILL YOU BITCHES STOP TALKING ABOUT ME?!"

"We're just trying to help!"

"Y-you guys, Kacchan knows Koharu-chan best. I'm sure he knows what she wants." Izuku spoke up trying to placate the situation.

"Yeah, but it's Bakugou."

"SHUT UP!" Katsuki slung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed his chocolate. "Screw you guys, I'm outta here."

Only Izuku flinched as the door slammed shut. " _What was with the glare!? I didn't do anything…"_

"Stupid Deku, acting like he knows everything." Katsuki muttered under his breath as he walked to the rooftop; he threw down his bad and leaned up against the wall, the gift wrapped box still securely in his other hand. He opened the lid and looked down at each candy; they were perfectly shaped. It was obvious they were done with care and the thought of Koharu taking the time to make them look so nice made his stomach flip as he ate greedily.

" _Does she expect me to do something for White Day?"_ Katsuki chomped on his candy one after the other; he was glad he could savor them in peace away from his suddenly curious classmates. " _Ko didn't even mention she was going to make me something for today, she just did, I didn't have to ask...her..."_

Katsuki lowered the last piece of chocolate from his lips and glared at it. "Shit. Why is this stuff so hard? It seems to come easy to her, so why the hell can't I figure it out?"

"Yo, sorry to interrupt, but Aizawa-sensei told me-"

Kirishima ducked as a blast narrowly missed his head.

"THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?!"

"Geez, getting so embarrassed that easily isn't very manly you know." Kirishima leaned next to Katsuki against the wall. "Aizawa-sensei told me to get you, class''l start soon and we're heading to the training room in a bit."

"Then why the hell did you have to sneak up on me?!"

"I called out your name, like, ten times."

"Whatever." Katsuki put the last truffle into the box and stowed it away inside his jacket.

"You know, girls are really weird."

"..."

"I envy you man, I wish I had a cute girlfriend making me candy." Kirishima sighed. "She was the one with the really shiny hair right? She looked worried when you won."

"That wasn't a win." Katsuki interrupted. "If she gets that, why don't you people do? And what the fuck does that mean anyway, cute?"

"She's cute." Kirishima shrugged. "What, don't tell me you don't think she is?"

"Of course she is, are you blind hair-for-brains!?"

"Dude...chill."

Katsuki looked away defiantly. "Dammit, why the hell are we even talking about this?"

"You looked kinda bummed; girls always seem more in tune with things men don't even stop to consider." Kirishima ignored the nasty look Bakugou shot him; instead he gave him a winning grin and pumped a fist into the air. "If you want my advice, just think about what she wants and try to be the man who can give it to her!"

Katsuki huffed. "I don't remember asking for your advice."

"Oh? Eh, guess not. Anyway, let's get going before we're late."

"Don't tell me what to do asshat."

Katsuki followed Kirishima in silence.

" _What does Ko want from me?"_ he asked himself. " _She never really talks about us. Mostly she's helping me out….does she think I can't be relied on?"_

"Hey Bakugou-"

"Fuck that! I'm the most dependable guy, what the hell is she thinkin'?!" Katsuki smirked to himself with a clenched fist. "I'll show her!"

Kirishima turned back around. " _Oh wow, he's really lost it…still, it's pretty damn funny to watch him trip over himself."_

When Koharu came home from school that day, she immediately went to her refrigerator; in the very back on the bottom shelf was a bag of chocolates. Koharu held them up to her line of vision and sighed; it was pointless to even make them. She wasn't going to eat them and giving them away wasn't an option, as much as she sort of hoped.

" _Why'd I even bother? It's not like I can send them out anyway."_ Koharu tossed the bag into her trash can; to be on the safe side, she turned on the stovetop and placed the paper name tag into the fire to crumpled up and smoke.

If Katsuki ever somehow saw, it Koharu didn't even want to imagine the consequences. She knew it was over anyway, but even so, she couldn't stop herself from fantasizing of a different reality where she was free to present her feelings as she wished.

" _Katsu was so happy too this morning...he smiled again."_ Koharu sat down at the kitchen table and held her head, trying to chase away the oncoming headache. " _I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."_

After a few minutes she decided to head over to Katsuki's house; if Koharu wasn't there soon, he'd get angry and storm over to her place to fetch her. The snow was beginning to fall from the dark sky; Koharu picked up her pace.

"Hey, where the hell's your jacket?" Katuski greeted Koharu as soon as she stepped inside; he wasn't even wearing a sweater, opting for shorts and a t-shirt.

"My uniform jacket is pretty warm." She told him with a shrug as she sat down next to him on the couch. "Why aren't you wearing something warmer?"

Katsuki rolled his eyes as Koharu cast him a skeptical look. "I'm not cold. Aren't your legs freezing? Where the hell are your leggings?"

"They ripped; besides, it's not even that cold." Koharu said stubbornly as she smoothed out her regretfully short skirt. As she looked down, Koharu noticed Katsuki's hands were clenched stiffly in his lap. "What's up with your hands? They look funny."

"My hands are stunned; I used my Quirk too much in training."

"Oh, do they hurt?"

"Not really...your hands look red."

"I forgot my gloves at home."

"Christ you're careless." Katsuki turned around in his seat to face Koharu; he held her hand up to his eyes. "I'll warm them up, my hands are still overheated from the fight."

"Who'd you fight?"

"Remember the ass who can shoot lightning?"

"Oh yeah." Koahru leaned over on her side into the couch with a yawn; Katsuki was glaring at her impatiently.

"Aren't you going to ask if I won?"

"Did you?"

"Heh, yeah." Katsuki's smug expression began to scrunch up in concentration. "Hey, be honest about something."

"I knew you'd win."

"N-no, another thing….what do you want?"

"Huh?"

"Are you deaf? I asked you what you want Ko."

Koharu traced her fingers along Katsuki's numb hands. "I don't get what you mean. Do you mean for Valentine's Day?"

"No, just from me. Look, I'm trying to be nice here." Katsuki grumbled as his eyes tracked her fingers. "What can I do for you?"

"Katsu…" Koharu gave him a dubious smile. "You don't have to do anything, it's just Valentine's day-"

"No, I meant as your boyfriend. What do you want me to do? Should I be more sappy or something? Ah fuck that...am I taking you out enough? I got hero classes and regular classes, so we mostly see each other at home after school. Should I make a damn schedule or something? I don't even know where'd we go-what the fucks so funny?!"

Katsuki glared as Koharu snorted behind her hands. "Yeah, yuck it up you-!"

"You're doing that weird muttering thing Izu-kun does!" she laughed and snorted louder; the sound made Katsuki cringe as she doubled over. "Holy crap, I can't believe it- you sounded just like him, hahaha!"

Koharu's laughter was cut off as Katsuki forced her to lie back on the couch.

"Don't. Don't fucking talk about Deku when we're together. I'm **nothing** like him."

"I-I didn't mean…"

Katsuki's glare was pointed, daring her to continue. "I'm not him."

"I know that." Koharu's face had the shadow of a smile. "Don't you think I know that?"

Katsuki still didn't feel good about it, but he slackened his hold on her hands. "Fine. Just don't mention it again."

"You should get off," Koahru looked at the front door, unbolted and in full view of the living room. "Your parent's-"

"They're out tonight on a date. They won't come home until...later…"

Koharu pushed back into the cushions; Katsuki didn't budge from his position above her, the reality of how the two of them were positioned dawning on him; Koharu's legs were on either side of him and her arms held above her head. Katsuki blinked slowly and his brow furrowed.

"Um-"

"You're cute."

"Thanks…" Koharu said awkwardly as he leaned in.

"I mean it." Katsuki said firmly. "Always thought so...I'll try to tell you more often, alright?" his lips stopped just above hers. "But you better just think about me if anyone else ever calls you that."

Koharu was frozen in place as Katsuki sat up and reached into his jacket; he took the last chocolate from the box and held it to her lips.

"Come on, open up Ko." Katsuki popped the chocolate into her mouth. "It tastes good."

"Oh...thanks." Koharu chewed with a bewildered look. " _Where is all this coming from? He's acting even weirder than usual."_

"Hey, when's White Day?"

"You don't have to-"

"When is it?" his voice left no room for arguing.

"March 14th."

"We're doing shit that day, so leave your schedule open, got it?" Katsuki told her. "You can pick what we do."

Koharu swallowed the chocolate. "Really?"

"Yeah. Whatever you want…"

" _I think that's the first time Katsu's ever…"_ Her eyes flickered away from his; Katsuki rolled his eyes and slung his arm around her shoulder.

"We'll go wherever you want, just as long as it's only us."

Koharu let out a silent gasp; Katsuki had wrapped both of his arms around her in a tight embrace.

"Got it...?"

She didn't feel cold anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

"Why the fuck are we here again?"

Koharu frowned slightly. "You said we could do what I wanted."

"I didn't mean a nerd convention."

"It's called an anime convention and don't be an asshole." she told him.

Katsuki surveyed the crowd once again; there had to be hundreds, if not more people, dressed in an array of crazy get ups. These costumed freaks surrounded tables and booths, and groups of people were rushing to one destination or the next, talking about 'limited copies' or some such other thing.

"OMG can we take your guys' picture!"

Katsuki balked as a small group of girls in colorful wigs and sailor uniforms crowded around them. Koharu on the other hand blushed and smiled bashfully as he sent her a questioning glare.

"Sure, of course!" Koharu stood next to the glowering Katsuki; his serious face complemented his costume, but at the moment he looked downright intimidating. The eye patch helped.

"You two look perfect, like you're really from the feudal era!" one girl with blonde hair rolled up into odango squealed. "Your kimono is so pretty!"

One of the girls stepped forward to get a better shot of Katsuki. "And your Shinsengumi uniform is so cool, you look like a real warrior!"

"Get out of my fucking face."

The girl backed away with a nervous laugh as sparks flew from Katsuki's hand.

"Um, well thank you very much!" They all bowed and scurried off; Koharu gave a long suffering sigh as Katsuki flipped them off.

"Katsu, they were just complimenting our costumes."

"Are losers like that just going to come up to us regularly?" Katsuki asked through gritted teeth; in fact, this was the fifth time in one day someone had requested photos and his patience was running thin.

"Maybe, but we look good." Koharu looked over the costumes. "I'm glad, I worked really hard to make these…." she sighed. "Next time I'll turn them down.

"It's fine, but next time they better keep their distance. Did you see that one guys eyeing your chest?"

"He was looking at my pin!"

"Tch, yeah, your pin."

"Do you just want to go back to the hotel room?" Koharu walked to the room where a voice panel was taking place; Katsuki didn't give an answer, but followed her silently.

"I thought we were going to be alone, not surrounded by otaku losers." Katsuki mumbled loud enough for her to hear. "What the hell am I supposed to be again anyway?"

"A member of the Shinsengumi!" Koharu told him for the hundredth time. "One that doesn't complain every five minutes and glare at people who get within three feet of us."

"Can we go back to the hotel room?"

"No, we still haven't seen Kamiya-senpai!"

Katsuki just stared as she pulled him across the crowded floor and down at least five hallways even more congested with people to a large room; there was a long table elevated above the row of seats and several people were already filling up the spaces. Koharu yanked Katsuki with her to the second row and plopped down firmly on a seat nearest to the aisle, adjusting her kimono and fidgeting with her kanzashi clip.

"What the hell's up with you?"

"Kamiya-senpai is going to host this seiyuu panel! I can't believe I'm actually going to hear his voice in real life…"

"Who?" Katsuki asked dismissively; Koharu turned to him with a reproachful look.

"Only my favorite voice actor from my favorite series based on the Shinsengumi that I've already told you for years."

"Guess I wasn't listening. What's so great about him anyway? Any asshole can walk up to a mic and start talking."

"I AM HERE!"

"All Might?" Koharu asked and looked around quickly; Katsuki's own eyes bulged in the direction of the voice. "Oh wait, it's just a cosplayer. That voice sure is convincing though."

"Fucking stupid ass…what's the point of dressing up like this anyway?" Katsuki fidgeted with his headband and itched to take the fake sword out of it's holster, but Koharu warned him that doing so would automatically get both of them kicked out.

"That guy has the right idea." she told him. "A big part of cosplay is to get into the role or the character; adopting the mannerisms, the body language, even the way of speaking-"

Katsuki fumed. "Okay. I get it, I get it already, just stop talking about it already!"

"SH!"

Katsuki turned in his seat to the rows of people behind him. "YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY TO ME?!"

"Sh, it's starting Katsu!" Koharu tugged on his sleeve with a childish grin as she bounced up and down in her seat; he grudgingly turned around and caught sight of a man walking up to the podium. He was in his late twenties and, in Katsuki's opinion, looked like a girl.

"KAMIYA-SENPAI!"

Katsuki gaped; nearly everyone in the room was cheering, but Koharu's voice was obviously the loudest and the most excited. Kamiya waved to the crowd; her own mouth fell open slightly as he smiled.

"Did he smile...at me?!" Koharu whispered in awe as she held her hands to her chest in a gesture of joy; she wasn't the only one who missed Kamiya's friendly glance.

"Hello everyone, now if you'd all settle down, we can begin."

Katsuki huffed. "He talks like he's some big shot."

"Sh, Katsu!"

"Let's start off with some questions. Raise your hands high!" Kamiya laughed as more than half the people's arms shot up in the air. "Hm….how about you? Your hand went up first."

Koharu blushed and slowly lowered her hand. "M-me?"

"Yes you." Kamiya ran a hand through his hair smoothly. "What is your question my dear?"

Katsuki frowned at how the hair seemed to fall in place just so.

"Kamiya-senpai-"

"Haha, please, Kamiya-kun has a nicer ring to it."

"K-Kamiya-kun." Koharu didn't think her cheeks could burn any hotter at his smile. "I was wondering if you could say a line as your character Soji Okita?"

"Certainly."

" _Does he think he's actually an old time warrior or some shit? Stop talking like you're hot shit, flippy haired pretty boy scum."_ Katsuki's palms nearly burned a hole in his sleeve. His eyes narrowed as Kamiya stepped down until and walked down the aisle until he was right in front of Koharu's seat; he adjusted his headset and bent down on one knee, his right hand placed over his heart.

"I will give my life for everything that I hold dear to me. My country, my comrades, my pride; I will sacrifice for these things, because they are everything in and of myself."

Koharu didn't dare to breathe. Kamiya's eyes were boring holes through hers; his voice was low and hushed, but audible thanks to the microphone.

"Truthfully, I had no qualms about dying in battle; it's all I've ever know. It is my purpose, my destiny….yet," Kamiya smiled softly. "It seems thanks to you, I've gained something else worthy of this devotion."

"What the hell was that?"

" _I can't believe I really got his autograph."_ Koharu couldn't tear her eyes away from her paper fan; Kamiya had gently taken it from her hand and signed it with his name without Koharu even having to ask. " _He said he liked my hair….oh my god, this is the best con ever!"_

"Hey Ko, don't ignore me!" Katsuki snapped.

"I can't believe it! I've got to put this somewhere safe when I get home!" Koharu told Katsu excitedly as she used her hotel key card to open the door. The space was pretty clear since for the most part; she and Katsuki had been out in the convention center all day. The only sign anyone was staying in the room was the rumpled bed and the haphazardly placed suitcases and personal items. Koharu went on babbling happily as Katsuki sat on the bed glowering at the wall.

"This convention was so lively too; the karaoke bar was packed! I wish I could've sang a bit more. Did you see that one girl dressed-"

"Are you done? Start packing, the sooner we're away from this loser convention the better."

Koharu's smile fell instantly.

"This was a waste of time. I've got better things to do then watch you fangirl over some stupid-"

"Then don't come next time." She said evenly. "If you really didn't want to be surrounded by pathetic losers like me, why didn't you just say so?"

"Hold on dammit, I never said-!" Katsuki's voice failed him; Koharu was using her wide sleeve to wipe away rapidly streaming tears.

"All you've done is put down everything since we got here, you didn't even try to have fun. If you're not into it fine, but you said we could do something I wanted for once."

"Well you said we'd be alone!" Katsuki retorted.

"Dammit, it's **always** like that...I have to go by your rules and your expectations. Katsuki, answer me honestly: are you with me because of me or because you didn't want to lose out to someone else?" Koharu sat down on the edge of the bed and began packing her clothes. "You hate losing anything; I know you Katsu. When you thought I liked Izu-kun, you were just upset that I might have picked him when compared to you; you just wanted another reason to look down on him. If it was anyone else, would you have even cared?"

"That's bullshit." Katsuki said after a pause.

"Is it?"

"IT IS!" Katsuki insisted and pushed her suitcase to the floor. "Stop packing and pay attention to me dammit!"

Koharu raised her eyes to his; she felt so confused. Why did it even matter to her whether Katsuki didn't enjoy himself? This wasn't the first time he had dismissed a hobby of hers and before she had just rolled her eyes and ignored his complaints. Now Koharu felt hurt.

" _I...wanted him to be here. I wanted to have fun with him at the convention, not argue and bicker with each other."_ Koharu looked down and sighed in defeat. " _And why do I feel so upset about this? If he really does see me as some sort of trophy, then maybe he'll lose interest and leave me alone."_

"I meant what I said that day. Deku doesn't deserve you; no one else does!" Katsuki gripped her shoulders tightly; she felt his damp palms sweat the nitroglycerin and absently hoped her robe wouldn't catch on fire. "I don't give a rat's ass who it is, that shit nerd or some voice acting hack! I hate them all, they can all just fuck off because you're **mine!** "

Katsuki drew out his sword, crossing the blade over his chest; Koharu started and flinched as he held the blade to the left side of his chest with one swift motion.

"I'm strong. Strong enough to crush anyone who gets in my way; I always knew that, and I'll do anything to win. I won't just lie down and let someone beat me."

Katsuki lowered the sword to his side and used his free arm to tug her to his chest. "I won't let anyone take you away from me."

Koharu didn't blink. "I…"

Katsuki let his sword drop to the carpet and tilted her chin upward; she never realized how sharp his eyes were, even when he wasn't glaring in hostility.

"How's that for getting into character?"

"You-?!"

"You're forgetting who got the top marks in our history class. Besides, you used to force me to watch that dum-that show all the time when it first came on. Is your favorite one still that girly boy?"

Koharu allowed herself to laugh shortly at his genuinely questioning gaze. "He's my favorite seiyuu, but it's not like I'm in love with him or anything dumbass."

"Fine, but don't act like that when I'm right there. I don't like it."

" _Why can't…?"_ Koharu rested her head against his chest and nodded.

"This uniforms really accurate."

"It took me two weeks to make."

Katsuki let Koharu go and picked up her fallen case. "It'll go faster if I help pack."

"Thanks." Koharu reached down to pick up her paper fan; she didn't want Katsuki to 'accidentally' burn it. " _Why can't….why did I get so upset?"_

Koharu blushed remembering Katsuki's thumb brushing against her bottom lip. " _It felt scary...but at the same time, I didn't feel scared, not really."_

"Stop spacing out and help Ko." Katsuki told her roughly as he stuffed away his clothes in an old duffel bag. "If we're in here alone too long, someone might think we're up to something."

"What?!"

"We can't stay past the check out time or we'll have to pay an extra fee." Katsuki said with a raised eyebrow at Koharu's pink cheeks. "They'll think we're trying to pull a fast one and try to stay longer."

"Right. I'm going to take a quick shower, be right back." Koharu shuffled off to the bathroom hoping to avoid a more awkward conversation.

Katsuki looked at the closed door to make sure she wouldn't leave the bathroom in the next minute and took off his own costume. After he threw on regular clothes, he couldn't help taking a closer look at the robe and headband; he could tell without her saying anything how hard she worked on them.

" _I called her thing stupid. She invited me on her trip and I bitched the whole time."_ Katsuki could already hear Kirishima lecture him on how unmanly it was to act like a sulking child just because his White Day gift didn't go according to his tastes. He scowled at the paper fan with loathing.

" _Just a few minutes ago she was fine and smiling and then she wasn't. I screwed up."_

Katsuki sat down on the bed listening to the shower run; he carefully folded up the costume and picked up the paper fan; it must've seemed like a dream to get signed merchandise from her favorite seiyuu and he had thrown a bucket of cold water over Koharu's fun.

" _I am the best for her; there's never been anyone else, but-"_ Katsuki forced himself to set down the fan gently on the table and averted his eyes to keep from having to look at it; his tongue stung from how hard he was biting down on it.

" _I made her cry again…"_


	16. Chapter 16

It happened around the time Koharu was four; she remembered because Izuku had turned four not too long ago before her, and then the teasing had started.

It was mild at first, and she didn't pay too much attention to it; all Koharu knew was that Izuku was one of those boys that followed Katsuki around, albeit a nicer one. She only spoke to him every so often; he was just sort of there.

Then one day, he wasn't.

Koharu remembered because that was when she first discovered her own Quirk when Katsuki had gotten gum stuck in her hair; the whole class giggled while the teacher tried to gently remove it as she howled in pain. Katsuki had his face turned away, arms crossed as he mumbled under his breath how it wasn't that bad, and it's not like her hair wouldn't grow back.

"Katsuki-kun, you shouldn't have been chewing bubble gum in class anyway." The teacher looked down at him disapprovingly; Katsuki ignored him.

"Stupid Katsu!"

"Shut up, it was a fricking accident!"

Koharu whined pitifully and had her eyes closed tight against the pain as the teacher attempted to run a comb through her hair. The other kids stifled their laughter, not wanting to get scolded as well, but Koharu could feel them staring at her all the same.

"OW!"

A chunk of hair was ripped out as Koharu tried to move her head away from the comb; the teacher gasped lightly as he kneeled down to inspect her scalp.

"Sh, calm down, let me look."

"No!" Koharu shrieked and squirmed away, accidentally smacking the comb out of his hand. "It hurts, just leave me alone!"

"Don't be such a baby!" Katsuki sneered as Koharu held her hands against her head.

"Katsu, SHUT UP!" Koharu stomped her foot down on the ground and everyone went silent; the seconds passed and she felt the atmosphere change significantly. Koharu pried one eye open and saw Katsuki had dropped his glare in favor of staring at her curiously. The teacher had the same look on his face and when she lifted her head up, Koharu felt a tickling sensation on her leg.

"SPIDER!" Koharu jumped back and shook her leg; a couple of kids laughed, grateful for the broken silence, and the teacher smiled as he took her by the shoulders.

"No, there's no spider Ko-chan!" he assured Koharu quickly and held out some of her hair in his hand. It could have wrapped around his arm like a sleeve.

Koharu blinked and looked down; her hair was nearly past the hem of her school frock.

"Hold on just a sec." the teacher reached behind Koharu and cut off the lock still sticky with gum; once it fell back in place with the rest of her hair, it was impossible to tell any of it had been cut at all. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I got my Quirk, I got it!" Koharu jumped up and down and ran around the class in circles so she could watch her hair fly behind her. A few other kids ran with Koharu and a couple were already asking to touch her hair and if she could make it grow longer.

"Wait a minute, try not to make it longer, okay?" The teacher said firmly. "We don't know if there might be...adverse side effects-and will you guys settle down?!"

Koharu wasn't quite sure what he meant, so after school she asked Katsuki; he seemed to know everything.

"It means using your Quirk too much can make bad stuff happen." Katsuki rolled his eyes at her ignorance. "My Quirk comes from my sweat, but if I use it too much, sometimes my hands hurt and I get dehydrated, remember?"

At her confused look, he sighed. "I'll be super thirsty and get sick Ko."

"Oh okay." Koharu took him at his word.

That afternoon was like any other, despite her new discovery; she followed Katsuki to the park to play, along with a couple of other boys who had their own Quirks.

" _Not that they're as cool as Katsu's!"_ Koharu grinned to herself as the larger boy showed off his wings; she doubted they'd be able to lift him from the ground if he kept stealing snacks. Not long after the four of them claimed the swing set as their own, another boy from her class came over wanting to use one.

Koharu didn't pay much attention as she watched her hair fly through the wind after her; Katsuki wouldn't get up, so the boy sulked and hesitantly threaten to push him off if he didn't share.

Katsuki's grin turned sour and the boy backed away slightly; Koharu stopped pumping her legs abruptly as the boy stammered out an apology.

"Katsu-"

"What the heck is a weakling like you gonna do to me?!" Katsuki laughed as he sent a small explosion to the boy's arm, making the skin dark and red; the other boys jumped off their swings and went over to laugh at the now pitifully cowering child.

"Kacchan, stop it!" Izuku darted out of nowhere; Koharu gave him a funny look. " _Izu-kun? What's he gonna do?"_

Everyone knew he was Quirkless. Everyone knew he was weak and clumsy and shy and just plain weird.

Koharu was pretty sure he knew it too, from the way his whole body was shaking and how his eyes were tearing up already.

"Izu-kun?" Koharu was planted in her swing, unable to understand what was happening as Katsuki sent her a glare. " _What? Why is he mad at me?"_

"You're being mean Kacchan." Izuku hiccuped and stood in front of the now crying boy, clutching onto his hurt arm. "You have to stop."

"I'll be nice and give you one warning. Stay out of this." Katsuki sneered as he made him palms spark.

Izuku raised his fists and Katsuki's expression fell to one akin to shock.

"I-if you do anything more, I'll never forgive you!" Izuku clenched his fists tightly and his nose dripped slightly. The other boys along with Katsuki and Koharu just stared at him blankly for a moment.

" _He's crying…? What's wrong with you?"_ Koharu couldn't take her eyes off of him; every part of his body was shaking, except for his stare. It wouldn't waver, even as tears sprang to his eyes.

"You're Quirkless, but you're still trying to play hero?" Katsuki began to grin maliciously; she had never seen him with that kind of face, and her hands clutched on tightly to the swing's chains as he and the other boys charged at Izuku, still standing up and flailing his fists aimlessly as they took him down.

"Katsu, stop!" Koharu jumped off the swing. "What if someone sees? Y-you'll get in trouble."

The other two boys leapt back from Izuku and took off without Katsuki, who paused as he swung his arm to strike Izuku one last time and gave her a quizzical glare. She kept looking at him pleadingly.

"Katsu, let's just go….you're scaring me." Koharu looked over at Izuku; he looked barely conscious. He knew from the start he was no match for Katsuki; the injured boy sat to the side, still sobbing softly over his burn.

"Fine, let's go." Katsuki said with one last smirk at Izuku; Koharu didn't move.

"Ah!" Izuku was thrown to the ground and Katsuki stormed past her; Koharu's eyes were still trained on Izuku. She took a step forward, hand trembling slightly.

"Hey, you said let's go, so let's go!"

"..."

Izuku didn't seem to even see Koharu as she walked away with Katsuki; the boy was off to the side, curled in on himself, shaking in fear.

"Katsu." Koharu spoke quietly after a while.

"What?" Katsuki yawned.

"Nothing."

Katsuki looked at her from the corner of his eye. "Let's just go."

"Okay."

That day, Izuku wasn't just there.

It seemed like everywhere Koharu turned, he was there; the day after the incident, she snuck over to him during recess and gave him her hoarded cookies. He smiled, albeit a bit shocked, and she ran off before Katsuki came outside.

And as much as Koharu tried not to get too close to him, everyday she felt something reeling her in.

That day, she really saw Izuku Midoriya and Katsuki Bakugou; it was both the happiest and the saddest day of her life, at least until recently.

" _Izu-kun...only you would do something so brave when you're so scared."_ Koharu smiled to herself; she pretty sure she didn't have a chance anyway. Koharu saw her with her own eyes at the sports festival; the girl who could make things float. " _She really was cute...and that Quirk is so amazing...her and Izuku make a great team I bet."_

In the end, it was enough to see Izuku smiling and actually looking at ease as he talked with her and his other classmates; Koharu was over it by now, despite feeling a lingering fondness for her old friend.

" _I've always admired him…the Deku who never gives in. The hero who always manages to make me want to try harder."_

Koharu had let go of the possibility of her dream coming true. That's what made her so different from both Izuku and Katsuki; she did what she could to get by, but she never really got ahead.

Even now, Koharu was pretending to date her best friend so the life she knew had some semblance of stability, and even then, the situation was becoming more and more blurred.

" _I don't want to be a hero...I don't think I could with my Quirk."_ Koharu tossed in the bed, careful not to disturb Katsuki; he had gotten done studying for exams and his hands were numb from the constant note taking and the training. They were still curled up a bit; she could make out his face slightly in the half darkness and smiled at his frown, wondering if he was still reciting equations and hero licensing laws in his head.

"Fuck off hair for brains….'splode your bitch ass face…"

Koharu choked and covered her mouth tightly as she shook; it was the first time she'd ever heard him talk in his sleep.

"Heheh...I won."

"Holy shit, that's adora-!"

Koharu lowered her hand from her mouth slowly.

"I won Ko…" Katsuki mumbled and smacked his lips; his eyes pried open slightly. "...Water?"

"You want me to get you water?"

"Nah, I-I got it…" Katsuki practically rolled off the bed and stumbled to the bathroom with the cup he kept on his nightstand. Koharu had suggested that since he seemed to get thirsty in the middle of the night.

" _I know because I sleep over almost every night…"_ she realized. " _I might as well just move in at this point."_

Her presence at his place, according to his parents, smoothed out some of his rough edges. Koharu's own family was out of town or when they were home, they were pleased that they were growing so close. The future, specifically Koharu's future, was important to them. To be married someday to a prodigy and eventual renowned pro hero one day would secure both her financial and social standing.

" _What do I want? What do I_ _ **really**_ _want?"_ Koharu stared up at the ceiling and could hear Katsuki gulping down the water quickly. A moment later, he stumbled back in the bed, falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Suddenly, he turned to her with blurry eyes.

"Ko…..night…"

"Night Katsu." Koharu whispered; he snored before she could get the last syllable out. It wasn't often she was awake while he was asleep, yet lately she seemed to be getting less and less rest. Her first year of high school was nearly over and a few of the girls Koharu made friends with would routinely ask about her boyfriend, frustrated by the brief, almost half hearted answers and shrugs, as if she had no interest in discussing the relationship for whatever reason.

"How long have you guys been seeing each other?"

"About a year."

"Is he older?"

"Not really."

"What school does he go to?"

"Yuuei."

"Oh my god, that's so cool!"

"I guess.."

"Is he hot?"

"He's...good looking."

"I saw him in the news, he's a bit more than just good looking."

Koharu shrugged.

"Well, how far have you guys…"

"Just some kissing…"

"Geez, show some enthusiasm will you?"

"Oh be quiet, she's just shy!"

"Childhood friend romance...so cute!"

In another story, Koharu would have ended up with the kindhearted protagonist; she would've confessed her feelings just before graduation and he wouldn't believe the girl he had seen as a friend for so long would have those feelings. The two of them would embrace and leave behind the bad memories and live happily ever after in their puppy love romance.

And the bad guy would leave the two of them alone, apologize and realize they were better off with the true hero of the story.

" _Katsu's not a bad guy though…"_ Koharu buried her head in the pillow; even after everything that had happened, even after indirectly forcing her to smash down her own feelings, she could never bring herself to hate him.

Katsuki was determined in everything he did; every time they were together now, he made some gesture of effort. He saved her a piece of his food, let her have a turn watching TV, made her sit down and have him tutor her, he asked if anyone was bugging her, 'cause he could take care of it, and made sure she had some time to herself before spending time with him and that she was eating right.  
Koharu shook her head with a bemused smile. " _What, am I his pet too?"_

Some of these gestures fell a bit flat, but the effort was always there; and now and then, she would say or do something that pleased him and he would smile that smile she didn't even know he could make.

And after some time, in spite of Koharu's feelings, in spite of the fear and anger and hopelessness, that smile was becoming something precious.

" _Katsuki…"_ Koharu held her breath and turned over on her side slowly; the window was open slightly to let in a breeze during the hot summer evening. Katsuki had accidentally (no, really) broken the fan; the curtains were open as well, letting the street light illuminate half of the room. Katsuki didn't look at peace when he slept; his brow never completely unfurrowed, there was just the smallest crease, his mouth in a straight line, neither at happy or angry. He was calm.

" _He looks…"_

Koharu reached her hand up, the fingers inching a centimeter every few seconds; Katsuki was a heavy sleeper, but she didn't want to chance waking him. As the tips of her fingers reached his skin, she let out a soft breath.

"You're so cute Katsu."

I like you, Koharu wanted to say; I might even love you, and I'm not entirely sure if it's just because you love me or I have Stockholm Syndrome, or I'm idealizing you or maybe it's because I've been seeing so many new sides to you over the past year and part of me loves the side of you that's been almost kind. I love being able to be a part of your life, even if you're thinking of doing something horrible and I hate myself for feeling this way, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't been enjoying this, that I haven't found myself feeling happy, happier than I might have ever been, that I didn't love-

"You're not bad either Ko." Katsuki muttered with a half smirk; his hand had grabbed hers and he didn't even open his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's fine." Katsuki grumbled impatiently. "It's fine if you-hey, what the hell's wrong?!"

"Katsu, your parents-!"

"Fuck that, why the hell are you crying?" Katsu whispered despite his words. "Did you have a nightmare or something?"

Koharu nodded and used the corner of the blanket to wipe your face. "Yeah."

"Shit, you look like shit."

"...thanks."

"Have you been getting sleep? You haven't been up watching that anime on the nights you're home right?"

"No, it's nothing."

"...what happened in the nightmare?" Katsuki didn't so much ask as demand to know.

"...I…" Koharu breathed in abruptly and placed her hand on his cheek; she could feel it burn under her palm. "I-I'm sorry for waking you up, let's just go back to sleep, okay?"

"Dammit, I'm not dropping this when you're still crying!" Katsuki growled. "Fuck, do you ever cry around anyone else?"

Koharu sniffed and frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I feel like every goddamn time you cry, it's when I'm around. Is it me?"

"Katsu, don't." She burrowed herself into his chest. "It's not your fault…"

"Tell me what happened."

"You got mad...and killed somebody." Koharu managed to say. "Katsuki, you can't-please, don't ever-"

"I won't okay?" Katsuki grabbed the back of her head and pressed her face into his neck. "I won't unless I have to during a fight, so just stop worrying and stop crying. Fuck, you're going to be dehydrated at this point."

Koharu couldn't help laugh before willing herself to relax in his hold.

"I won't do it."

"Okay." Koharu whispered and steeled herself for what was to come next; she wasn't sure why she was even talking about it. Perhaps she felt more secure than she thought.

"Katsuki, sometimes...you scare me."

"Yeah, I figured." The careless tone cracked at the end of the statement. "I'm not making it a goal of mine. You shouldn't be scared of me, I'm your boyfriend."

"Yeah, I know." Koharu nodded and kissed his jaw. "Sorry."

"And don't apologize. You're being honest; if you were being a bitch and keeping it inside, I wouldn't want that kind of woman." Despite the heat, Katsuki held her closer. "You gotta believe me."

"Okay Katsu."

Koharu wanted to more than anything, because she didn't want to lose him. She didn't want to wake up in the morning and have to face the reality of what was actually happening, so instead she pretended she was just spending the night cuddling with her temperamental boyfriend and she knew exactly what would happen in the future and exactly how she would feel about herself and her current position in this person's life.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	17. Chapter 17

"Izu-kun, hi!" Koharu smiled brightly. "I'm sorry I'm late, I got stuck with cleaning duty."

"Don't worry about it Koharu-chan." Izuku said hurriedly. "I'm sorry to call you out so suddenly."

She invited him to sit at the table; he kneeled down and thanked her as she offered to get him something to drink.

"I could boil some tea, but it'll take a while." Koharu said sheepishly. "Or do you want some juice or something?"

"Sure, juice is fine." Izuku nodded and tried to settle in.

"So how's your classes? Katsu tells me a lot of them are just general education classes."

"Yeah, we have english and japanese history and all that." Izuku told Koharu. "It's still pretty cool though, and All Might is one of our teachers-! Ah, but Kacchan probably already told you."

"Hey, don't be embarrassed to be so excited." Koharu assured him as she kneeled down on the other side of the table. "Is he as cool as he seems on TV?"

"Yeah! He's amazing, and I've learned so much…" Izuku trailed off. "I owe a lot to him and now he's my teacher."

"Izu-kun, is everything okay?" Koharu frowned at his suddenly troubled expression.

"I still need to get stronger." Izuku said firmly; she was a bit taken aback at it. "I want to be more confident...I thought maybe I should start by confessing something to you."

The glass of juice nearly spilled from her hand. "W-what?"

"I...used to have a pretty big crush on you...I sort of got over it, I mean, I always figured you and Kacchan…" Izuku coughed and tried his best to keep from stuttering. "The thing is, I do still care about you."

"I-" Koharu let her hands fall into her lap as she stared down at the table's surface. "Izu-kun, I had no idea…"

"I have to warn you."

Koharu's eyes narrowed in concentration and reluctant suspicion; first this confession, now a warning?

"Izu-kun, what the hell is going on? Why are you telling me this now?"

"It's about Kacchan; I've kinda always figured you'd fall for each other at some point, but I can't just keep my mouth shut anymore." Izuku gulped, his sweaty hands rubbing against his pants to keep them dry. "I'm worried about you Koharu-chan….I think Kacchan might hurt you or someone else…"

Koharu stiffened. "Izu-kun, you don't know what you're saying."

"I do! We both know how we can get," Izuku said a bit louder. "The day we went to the counselor to talk about applying to Yuuei, Kacchan cornered me...he threatened me, not just about Yuuei, but about you. He told me to stay away from you." Izuku looked into her eyes. "I think he was going to do something drastic and if you make him mad…I don't know..."

"I guess I can't say I'm shocked." Koharu said softly.

"I can help you." Izuku said. "I don't want you to get hurt."

To his shock, she smiled. "Izu-kun, you don't get it….I can't leave him...I love Katsu."

Izuku lowered his eyes. "Is there anything I can say to get you to change your mind."

"I can't think of anything." Koharu joked lamely. "Izu-kun, thank you; I know how Katsu can be, I know what he can do. But I love him. I want to be with him and whatever happens, I want to stay together."

Izuku shook his head. "Do you hear yourself?! This is just-!"

Both of them looked over as the banging noise coming from the hallway leading to the living room; Katsuki came in with a scowl.

"What the fuck is he doing here?"

Izuku froze at the quiet hostility in his tone; Koharu stood up and walked over to Katsuki.

"Katsu, it's not what you think-"

"I know Ko. I heard you." Katsuki's eyes softened at her face. "I heard him though; I fucking heard everything." he turned to Izuku with his glare back. "You think you're better for her? You sure are getting full of yourself lately you shitnerd."

Izuku gasped not just from the shock of being knocked over in the blink of an eye, but from the cut off supply of oxygen caused by Katsuki's hands wrapped around his throat.

"You just keep getting in the way. All you had to do was stay away from her, but you're too stupid to even do that, huh?" Katsuki snarled. "I gotta admit, I was kind of hoping you'd slip up eventually; now I can finally show you who's the top dog here."

"Katsu stop, he's-!"

"Shut up, it'll be over soon. He'll never bug you again, this piece of shit...I knew it, I knew he had a thing for you, but even I didn't think he'd have the ball to say anything."

"But he doesn't anymore, please Katsu, let him go!" Koharu fell to the ground next to him and tried to pull his clenched hands away; they were hot around Izuku, whose thrashing became more and more feeble, and she knew Katsuki was getting ready to use his Quirk. "People will see the burns, you'll get caught, Katsu, you have to-"

He released Izuku. "Stop freaking out! Fuck."

"Katsu, I don't want to lose you...please, just let it go, he'll never bother me again." Koharu held him and cried into his shoulder out of relief. Izuku hacked and doubled over, trying to suck in as much air as he could into his lungs.

"Izu-kun, are you okay?" she asked; Katsuki made an impatient sound in his throat akin to a growl. Koharu gave him a brief look and held his hand tighter.

"You...have to leave…" Izuku gasped. "Please, he'll-"

"That's enough." Koharu told him angrily. "Izu-kun, please leave."

Izuku stared at her blankly and her glare faltered.

"Please, if you leave now, we can just forget this...Izu-kun, just go." Koharu said softly; after a second he blinked and slowly rose to his feet.

"Alright." Izuku gave her a beseeching stare. "Be careful."

"You're fucking lucky she was here, or your skin would be melted into the carpet right now Deku." Katsuki shoved Izuku to the door. "Beat it before I change my mind."

Izuku opened his mouth and closed it; he didn't look afraid, only disappointed as he left and shut the door behind him. Koharu pulled herself from Katsuki and sat down on the ground by the table, head buried in her arms.

Katsuki growled lowly. "Come on, don't fucking tell me-!"

"Katsu, thank you." Koharu yanked him down on top of her as soon as he was at her level; he let Koharu cling to him as he sighed harshly.

"Why the fuck did you agree to see him anyway?"

"I just wanted to tell him in person to not try to contact me anymore...I knew you might do something like that. Katsu, you could've gotten yourself in big trouble." Koharu felt her tears stream into her hair. "I love you, please don't do anything like that again…"

"Shit, is that what you've been worrying about Ko? Look, I told you, as long as he stays away, I won't do anything." Katsuki said as he wiped her face with his hand. "Piece of fucking shit….and coming over when you're alone…"

"You were here."

"Well he didn't fuckin' know that."

Koharu looked up at him questioningly. "How did you get in here?"

"I made a copy of the house key. I need to be able to get in here if something happens." Katsuki leaned against her. "I would've killed him...I would've torn him limb from limb and I wouldn't have given a shit...dammit, don't ever do that again."

"Katsu," Koharu took his face in her hands and blushed. "I promise, I only want you; haven't I proven that by now?"

"Yeah...yeah, I know." Katsuki nodded. "When are your parents coming home?"

"N-not for a couple of days…"

"Good, my parents are gonna be gone for a while too." Katsuki lifted Koharu up easily and smirked smugly. "This way, you can be as loud as you want Ko."

"Katsu?"

"Huh?" Katsuki slurred as the sunlight stung his eyes. "God, turn the fuckin' light off will ya? Trying to blind me or something?"

"It's already eight in the morning and you told me to wake you up before nine." Koharu rolled her eyes as she pulled back the covers. "Your parents already made breakfast….Katsu, are you sick? Your face is red and your eyes look fuzzy?" Koharu asked as she raised the back of her hand to his forehead. "Wow, you haven't been sick since we were kids."

"I'm not sick!" Katsuki smacked her hand away. "I'm fine, just stop nagging me already."

Koharu shook her head. "Fine, but don't keep us waiting forever."

Katsuki flopped back down on the bed and grinned darkly as soon as she left the room.

"Shit, you couldn't have waited a few more minutes to wake me up?"


	18. Chapter 18

"When I come back, you better be here."

Koharu looked up with a frown. "I don't even know exactly when you'll be back from boot camp. What if I'm busy that day?"

Katsuki laced up his boots tightly. "How the fuck should I know? Figure it out."

She sighed and brushed by him to get to school. "Don't be an ass."

That was the last thing Koharu had said to him and now he was gone, held captive by some of the countries most ruthless villains.

He was gone and she didn't know whether she'd ever see him again, and the last words she said to him were a command.

"Sweetie?" Katsuki's father opened the door to his son's room slowly; Koharu straightened up and turned her face away.

"B-Bakugou-san, hi-!" Koharu stifled a sob; Katsuki's father rushed over and sat down beside her, cradling her in a bear hug.

"I know...it's okay, we're scared too…" he said softly. "All we can do is wait. Katsuki might be a bit upset if he thought you were worried."

"Heh, yeah." Koharu smiled hollowly. "I...Bakugou-san, thank you. I just can't believe it. I can't get it out of my head. He's alone with those bastards, who knows-!" her voice broke and she choked on her own words, snot close to dripping from your nose. "I-"

"Koharu-chan, you know we love you right? You're like a daughter to us...we've known you since you were in diapers and so has Katsuki. You might know him better than us." he shrugged halfheartedly. "What I'm getting at is that you should try not to worry too much; Katsuki is young, but he's still strong. We're all here for you and if he loves you as much as he seems, he'll fight through anything to get back here. Until then, don't be afraid to come to me and my wife."

Koharu nodded and smiled as he enveloped her into another comforting hug before leaving her to sleep.

Everything felt different; the bed was cold, the floor was cold, the whole room was frozen over, and Koharu felt a mix between being numb and nauseous.

" _How can I sleep?"_ she tossed and turned in frustration. " _Katsu...is he scared? Maybe...Izu-kun said they took him away so quickly…"_

What would her life be like now? Koharu might never be able to see him again. No more hearing his voice, no more study sessions, no more scolding or bickering or awkwardness. No more comfortable silence or small talk or listening to quiet breathing in the middle of the night. No more feeling his sharp eyes stare through her, no more hearing him curse and punch the walls in anger, no more cocky smirks or audacious grins or tentative smiles.

" _I'll never see it again."_ Koharu swallowed hard and bit her lip painfully as she gripped onto the pillow. " _I'll never see him again!"_ Koharu's chest was squeezed in panic; the very idea that Katsuki would just be gone from the world….how could she bear it?

" _I never wanted this! I never wanted him in danger, I just wanted to things to be normal."_ she tried to stop hyperventilating. " _Stop, stop feeling this way! I'm so confused, I feel so scared...Katsu, please just come back soon."_

"Hey."

Koharu stood there as Katsuki walked by her almost nonchalantly. Like you were even there.

"Katsu...are you-?"

"Leave me alone for a bit."

Katsuki shut the door to his room; his parents stood at the foot of the stairs in shock. They all shared a glance with them before making Koharu made her way up.

All Might may have been defeated, and Koharu could understand why Katsuki would feel melancholy, but she wasn't going to stand for this.

"Katsuki, I'm coming in." Koharu said firmly before opening the door; he didn't answer. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, head hung. She waited for him to look up.

"Katsu, that's not fair. I was worried, the least you can do is give me a hug, huh?" Koharu tried to sound cheerful. Katsuki wouldn't raise his head; he didn't move a muscle.

"Say something! For god sakes, I was terrified you wouldn't come back!"

"Were you?" came the low response; she blinked.

"Of course I was."

Katsuki's lips barely twitched in a bitter smile. "I'm fine anyway. I can take care of myself."

Koharu was ready to throw something at him. "If you're so fucking strong, why'd you let yourself get caught?" she asked scathingly; Katsuki barely glared.

"I didn't fucking let myself get caught. I wasn't exactly having fun with those assholes."

She was relieved to see some emotion in his tone. "Why the hell are you ignoring me?"

"What do you even care?"

"Oh, um, I don't know-maybe 'cause I'm your girlfriend?!" Koharu retorted through gritted teeth, fists balled up at her sides.

Katsuki's furrowed brow lost it's creases; he stared at her almost blankly. "Hey, be honest this time. If I didn't come back, you'd go off with Deku, wouldn't you?"

"What?!"

Katsuki stood up as if his body weighed a ton and trudged over to Koharu; his face was calm, but her stomach was twisting with dread as he stared into her eyes.

"I'm not stupid Ko. You don't think I ever thought it was funny how the minute I threatened that shitnerd, you suddenly change your mind about us? You didn't think I wouldn't take advantage of that?" Katsuki chuckled humorlessly.

Koharu felt herself shake involuntarily; she thought everything would be fine once Katsuki was back.

"Katsuki, I don't-" Koharu asked weakly. "Can't we talk later? You were just held hostage-"

"Like you?"

Her mouth gaped a little as Katsuki laughed.

"How's what I did any different, huh? How the fuck is you dating me so I wouldn't hurt your real boyfriend not holding you hostage? How am I any better?!" Katsuki slammed his fist into the drywall; Koharu didn't move a muscle as she watched him curse rapidly under his breath.

"I…" What could you say?

"You asked me why, remember? Why I was willing to go that far to keep Deku away." Katsuki said harshly. "I lied. I didn't want to lose to him most of all, 'cause I know he's-!"

Koharu reached out to touch his shoulder but Katsuki shook her off.

"I knew okay!? I knew….I didn't want it to be fucking true, but Deku was it. You should have been with him. That loser...I couldn't stand it, knowing he was better for you. But I tried, didn't I? I fucking tried, but no matter what I did, you always ended up crying! I mean, what the fuck does a guy have to do?! I'm not that son of a bitch, I don't want to be like him in a million fucking years, but it's no use!" Katsuki growled and punched the wall once again. Koharu found herself trembling slightly, and Katsuki's eyes widened before he scowled as bitterly as ever. "There it goes again…"

Katsuki made his way toward her, but before she could so much as flinch, he opened the bedroom door. "I can't fucking do it anymore. I can't kill him, 'cause then you'll hate me. I can't make you stay, 'cause I don't want to be the goddamn villain."

He ran a hand over his face and Koharu felt her throat seize up.

"I...love you. I fucking love you, and it's all bullshit, so don't pretend like it isn't."

" _Is that why? Is that why he was so angry all this time? Is that why he was willing to go that far?"_ Koharu wanted to laugh at the absurdity of it all. " _He really is fucking crazy."_

"Katsu, you have to listen to me." You began carefully. "I-"

"Just go now, before I change my mind."

Koharu walked over to the door and slammed it shut, making the frame crack; Katsuki actually jumped back a bit.

"You don't get to decide how this ends." she told him calmly. "Sit down and listen. Now."

Katsuki glared but obeyed without much resistance.

"You were right...about all of it, but what you don't seem to get is how fucking scared I was!" Koharu nearly screamed at him in frustration. "You get taken by these freaks, and now you're back you pull this shit?! You do this now?! It's too late, you idiot!" she stomped her foot and the floor shook.

Koharu could barely contain herself. It was all going to come out today, whether he wanted to hear it or not.

"Do you realize how hard it was for me to sleep at night, knowing those people had you? I thought you were dead half the time." Koharu choked back her tears so she could keep speaking properly. "What would I do if something happened and you just weren't here anymore? Do you ever think about that?" she asked softly as she sat down next to him. "Do you ever think about how I'd feel if you died?"

Katsuki was still glaring, but his eyes were glued to Koharu's face; she had his full attention.

"You were right, but it's different now. I'm already confused, and you deciding for me what's best isn't helping shit." Koharu told him.

"...I'm sorry."

Koharu smiled. "You know what the worst thing is? After this crazy fucking shit, the one person I want to talk about it the most in the world is you Katsu. You've always been here and then you...I don't know what's wrong with me."

Katsuki frowned and lied back on the bed. "If you don't hate me….come here."

Koharu hesitated before lying near him, arms just barely making contact; it wasn't uncomfortable. It was a relief to be near him and to physically feel his presence. She felt calmer.

"I never hated you...I hated what you were doing."

"Is that any different?"

"I think so."

Koharu could hear Katsuki's breathing; it was even and came out almost at the same pace as hers. It was wonderful. It was more proof he was there.

"I thought about you."

"I'm sorry I got mad at you before you left."

"Sorry I'm a violent prick."

"Stop saying sorry, it's weird."

"Piss off."

"Yeah, yeah."

"...sorry I keep making you cry."

"Yeah, me too."

Koharu smiled; it was almost like the two of them were friends again, but she and him both knew it would never happen.

"Katsu….I think I'm in love with you…"

Koharu felt a dip in the mattress; Katsuki was propped on one elbow and staring at her seriously.

"You can't just say that shit Ko."

"I mean it stupid."

"I'm not stupid!"

"Yeah, just fucking insane."

Katsuki fell silent; he sat up and gripped his head in his hands, making his hair even messier. "Dammit...if he comes too close to you...if anyone does, I don't know what I'll do. I get pissed just thinking about it!"

Koharu took Katsuki's hands away from his head and kissed his lips.

"Katsu...I don't love Izu-kun. I shouldn't have to prove it to you. You need to trust me."

"I do dammit, but what if-?!" Katsuki grabbed her hands tight enough to bruise. "What if you snap out of whatever the hell this is?"

"Like I said, I think it's a bit late." Koharu confessed. "This past year….I don't want to not have you in my life Katsu and now-"

Katsuki tackled her to the bed, arms wrapped around her neck and face buried in her shoulder.

"Don't fucking lie to me, or I'll singe off your hair everyday so it looks like crap."

"Liar."

Katsuki didn't answer back, only scoffed and crushed Koharu in his hold. "Stay...stay and I won't do anything crazy. I won't give up. It won't be the same if you aren't here, cheering for me. I don't think I can do it." he narrowed his eyes. "Don't go blabbing about everything I said either, got it?"

Koharu felt herself smile against his chest. "I know."

"I will be the best. I'll be your hero for real someday, and I'll beat the shit out of anyone who says otherwise."

"Katsu...let's just sleep for a bit, okay?"

Katsuki dropped his vicious grimace. "Yeah, okay."

Despite everything, she felt safe.

The future wasn't certain; Katsuki had changed somehow, All Might was defeated, and there were going to be a new surge of villains and among other problems. Chances were, Katsuki would most definitely be put in danger again and he might take things too far, both on and away from the battlefield.

The only thing Koharu knew for sure is that she was finally doing what she wanted and what she wanted at that moment was to be happy and relieved knowing Katsuki was safe. Koharu wanted to listen to his heartbeat as he ran fingers a little clumsily through her hair and fall asleep knowing that, for now, everything was okay.

"You got that Ko?" Katsuki asked softly, thinking she was fast asleep. "I swear, I won't lose you..."


End file.
